heartbroken.

2012-01-24T15:27:00.000-08:00

I didn't change, i grew up.

1st day of new year, went to Popo's house & realize family member there is decreasing.
not as many people and as noisy as before, everything changed when each year passed.
i wish things can go back to 8 years ago, where family members are all together.
but i have also learn that things can't go back, therefore we can only move on.
still enjoyed ourself @ Popo's house, left at about 11plus pm.
headed to plaza sing to purchase the movie ticket 'Dance Dance Dragon' for 2am show.
seriously it had been a long time since i hang out with my family.
maybe the only days we would all be gather together is only on Chinese New Year.
movie ended at 3.45am, reached home at about 4.30am. Eyes can't even open wide.
finish shower, text with hunny & fall alseep immediately. Heading to Ahma's house later on.

don't force anything to happen, let everything fall into it's place as it should.
don't try rushing anything, because if it's meant to to be, it'll happen eventually.
you might just end up ruining something by rushing it or trying to force it to happen.
let things happen naturally, and you'll notice how much more happier you'll be when
they happen unexpectedly. I want to refresh my mind, delete all my problems
undo all my mistakes and save the happy moments.

3 days without seeing my hunny, i miss him so so much.
its probably the first time we haven't seen each for this long.
but i'm sure tomorrow hunny bunny will come and fetch me from work,
cause you never fail not fetching me home for the everytime i work(:
you light up my world like nobody else. Prove to me that you're not like the rest.

4 words i never want to hear :
i don't love you.
you're diagnosed with cancer.
i found someone else.
it was never real.
we need to talk .
you're going to die.
i don't remember you.
let's just be friends.
we can't be together.
i never loved you.

i'm not your second choice neither your backup plan,
so don't text me when you're bored.

2012-01-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Hunny's advance birthday

my life changed, when Jieren' Hunny appeared.
we knew each other since November when we're working @ expo.
didn't really talk much, just know that i always disturbed him.
out of a sudden we contracted frequently, texting almost everyday & we get somehow close.
i remembered the flower he gave, & how he asked me for being his girlfriend.
i appreciated everything he does for me, tolerate my damn temper, my everything.
it might be just starting, but i'm sure i will always remember him existing in my life
giving me a memorable days that my ex didn't really give.
wanted to surprise him for his birthday yesterday with more people, things cock up.
and all thanks just left 4 person included me. My mood was really turned off.
i just wish that he appreciate what have i done for him, i may not be the girl he ask for.
but i'm trying so hard to get into relationship again, without getting hurt once more.
dearest hunny just wanna tell you, i love you. i'll try to be the best girlfriend.

i wish i had never met you then there would be no need impress you.
no need to want you. No need for loving you. No need for crying over you.
no need for heartbreaks. No need for pain or tears. No need for forgotten promises.
no need for crying myself to sleep. No need for acting like you care.
no need, for everything you've done to make me feel like absolutely nothing.
but when i think back, without my past. I wouldn't have learn my lesson & move on with life.
it teaches me no matter what problem i meet, problem will be solve sooner or later.
i will never be the past me, because its dead.

story of breakup: Why did i break up with him? Oh well, its like, once i sat down
and looked at the situation, all the pieces lying on the floor,
it just wasn't a puzzle anymore. None of the pieces fit together.
and even i tried really hard, the pieces, they were two different puzzles.

pay no attention to those who talk behind your back;
it only means that you're two steps ahead of them.

2011-12-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

Once again, i tear because of you

i tear because of him again, is it wonderful or powerful?
i didn't manage to control myself after receiving a shocking text from him.
he asked if i am still waiting for him, i replied calmly like no and stuff.
he asked me not to wait any longer for him and say stuff like there are better man outside.
those nonsense craps, he knew that i haven get over him.
know what, boy? To me, it seems like i just use to have you as part of my life for this
damn few years, imagine we've been seeing each other almost everyday since we're 13.
how you expect me to get over things so easy? To you yes, i don't know what the hell are you
make of. Maybe metal huh? i don' care, cause we're just over the rainbow.
those days, i made you laugh, i made you sad, i made you special. Did you realize?
no! you don't. You simply don't. So yah, my life is still gonna move on as usual.
maybe you should think back, when i was damn faithful to you, what did you do behind my back?
flirting with so many different girls, and when you asked for forgiveness, did i forgive you?
i don't owe you a living, i've been suffered a lot. Now it's time for me to really say goodbye.

hopefully by end of this year, you go back china. I'll forget every single things about you.
next year when you come back, we're just gonna be maybe passerby.
i don't want to know any of your things, or who are you with. Just fuck off.
we can be real good friend, best friend but provider if i've get over you.
if not, just fuck off! I might be violent @ times, but remember this.
you're the one who trained me out in this way, im not complaining or what.
just that being with you the feeling of comfortable was hard to get rid.
soon i know some other guys would eventually take over, but it might be different.
i sincerely wish you all the best here, from now on. We're not gonna be those super close.

after being loved by you,
it's hard to get love by other guys, the feel isn't same.

2011-12-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

You're leaving forever

sometime i was wondering what makes us like that again.
you use to call me almost everyday, what happen that make you stop all this?
maybe i'm use to it that you would call me, you suddenly stopped.
i feel that i cannot breathe anymore. You know exactly how much i missed you?
i doubt you know, maybe now you're chatting with other girls happily.
while i'm missing you & wanting to call you. My life went sucks ever since i knew you.

i hate it when i am waiting for a text and then my phone vibrates
but it's not from who i want, especially phone calls.
you know how much i miss you, i mean i sacrifice so much but you didn't saw it at all.
what's love, what's cherish, what's treasure. Did you know?
i want to be a very very good friend with you, as good as we can be holding hands.
a best friend that i can be like your brothers, can i? Today i'll try giving you the last call.
if it shows that it's over, then i'll put you forever away. I'm gonna mean what i say.

i can talk to hundreds of people in one day but none of them
compare to the smile you can give me in one minute.

2011-12-04T00:45:00.000-08:00

Wounds Everywhere!

2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast.
it's the year your so called friend walks out of your life, and it's the year you realize
who the real ones are. It's the year you felt most pressure to the point where
you gave up so many times but you're still learning how to get back up.
it's the year you said you were going to accomplish great things yet you feel like
you just wasted time. It's the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times.
it's the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing
the people in them. But it's also the year you move on, slowly, and you realize that
actually its okay.

2 months & 8 days have passed, this is the totally amount of days we've broke up.
did you even remember? I doubt so, i was thinking of you in fact everyday.
the feeling sucks, i'll still wait for you call, your text. And now a days no more.
i wondered why. Know what? I must be too strong that i can be friend with you.
i can choose to be enemy with you, i stopped that. Cause i believe we'll be good friend.
i teared while writing this post. Because i really miss us, the moment we met up.
either for movie, dinner, or slacking. I still love facing you, the feeling just too comfortable.
our 5 years plus of love why you can be so heartless to let it go without thinking back.
after today, i'll make everything change. & i must hold my words.

i sincerely wish that this year will pass faster and i'm gonna get rid monster out of my head.
next year will be a new year, i don't even want to dwell onto something that isn't worth.
i'm gonna let it totally go, i know that we wont be back together again.
but i just hope that our contact wont lost, i just have the urge to have contact with you everyday.
maybe it's just my use to it having you as part of my life.

as days goes by,
a part of me is going to be totally missing.
i wish you all the best for your life, ns life and so on.
my love for you seems like still exist, or maybe just use to it.

2011-09-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

At last, it still ended.

it's my last time calling you babyboy, i really miss everything about us.
but i'm sick of hearing feeling fade, i believe this will be the last time.
you choose to let go us over something which i don't know.
or maybe like what i think is correct, girls is always sensitive.
but their six sense is always correct. This whole blog is all about you and i.
i'll stop blogging after today, everything shall just end today.
i hope for the rest of your future you'll be a better man regarding of anything.
i never thought that you'll be the one asking me back, the one choose to leave us dead.
i seriously cannot stand it anymore, we'll get over each other now.
let's have our own life & continue our life with different people ahead.

Just wanna say that, although i patched with you.
i didn't regret, because there's still time you made me happy.
able to take my attitude, temper, pamper me sometimes.
i'm happy to be your spare tire, but still i know you've found someone else now to take over me.
i hope you'll learn to cherish, i wish you all the best.
we shall just bless each other everything goes smoothly.

imagine losing jobs, and a relationship @ the same time & day.
whose able to take it? I Christine able to, because this is life.
upcoming O's, please be good to me. I hate studying, but i expect good results.
ended blog just in this way!

i'll never meet your expectation.
because we doesn't suits each other from the start.

2011-09-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

Dream house! ^^

2011-08-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

Wonder what's hard for saying that 3 letters.
it shows that the love no longer there dude.

seriously, i don't understand what's happening.
giving me hope, & giving me hopeless again. You're the one creating all these.
but why? should i really stop all this, just a 'i love you' you can't even type it out to me.
the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or give up.
this shall be a short post, just fucking disappointed in you.
i've nothing more to describe you.

Anyway i'm so in love with Jung Yonghwa! (:
handsome & cute boy.

sometimes, letting go provides
you with an opportunity to gain something better.

2011-08-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my dream car (:

I'm finally back to blog, anyway just to blog for myself to look back next time.

as i know there's no more readers coming to my blog to read.

my life didn't go well, everything i do didn't went smoothly.

first, is about my studies. I really gave up, sorry parents. I'm really not up to it.

secondly, my work. I've also half way given up. Everyday boss is insulting me of my ability.

well, i know this is the society. I just cannot take it, i'll try to tahan till end of year.

yeah maybe i'm that useless, useless in everything. Therefore boss given up on me.

quarreled with him like always, but i always felt guilty after that.

but never will i apologies to him, to me over is over, enough is enough.

Thirdly, my dearest babyboy. Start giving me problems again and again.

well. I always said i given up on you, do you know why i didn't?

because i believe people will change, and i believe in you.

i don't like you to hangout with one of your friend, you're trying to go rebel with him too.

after going there, i don't know if i got chances to pull you back again a not.

don't tell me just go there and drink, you'll never know what will happen

especially with your hongster, flirter friend. I didn't worry for nothing, bear that in mind.

relationship do not get easier, ever day is a struggle.

every day is a battle, it doesn't get easier with time.

in fact, it gets harder. The secret is finding someone who's willing to be weak & strong

@ the same time. The secret is finding someone who's willing to work with you &

who will push you, challenge you, make it harder for you to leave.

the beauty is in the struggle.

my attitude changes in 5 seconds flat,

from sweetheart to a bitch,

so don't test that.

2011-07-12T23:42:00.000-07:00

Don't trust too much
Don't love too much
Don't hope too much

you're really far too much, first day of your attachment work & drifted with me?
hey who do you think you are to treat me in this way? -.-
excuse me i'm your partner not a toy nor a dog to be cold and hot with.
freaking get the facts right, everyday i am just following your mood to live my life.
oi, fuck you okay. You might affect me a lot in the past, now fuck you man.
it will sure affect me, do you think it still affect me that much?
took me for granted because you know i'll always be there.
for the next time, i'll guarantee things will never be the same.
i always say i wanna let go, & i did not. Know the reason why? Check it out yourself dude.

there's always that one person, no matter how many relationship they have had,
how many times they didn't respond to your text, how many times they ignored you,
how many times that they made you feel like you didn't matter,
how many times you sit on the floor crying because of them,
or you feel like shit; no matter how many times you say they don't matter.
deep down, every time that they text you, look at you, give you a hug, even just say your name;
your walls break down and you can't help out but be happy, even if you don't want to be.

time flies, people change.
you only talk to me when you need me. Other than that, you are too busy for words.
so, i guess you were one of those people who were supposed to walk into my life,
teach me a lesson, and then walk away.

being left alone,
with my mind,
is actually quite dangerous.

2011-07-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

Cry, it doesn't indicate you weak.

Life isn't getting better, perhaps it's because of relationship problems again?

till now i realized he really isn't the one for me, & i'm not the one for him too.

my work partner just advice me a lot of things, so i realized i still have more choices outside.

they might not be perfect, but they might be better than him.

he doesn't bother about me at all, on the 28th i start my first work.

he didn't even call and ask me how is my work and all that? When i am having my lunch,

the one who accompany me chat is my mother and stanwin, where's my boyfriend?

his super useless to a max already, the happiness moment with him is only when we meet up.

on the 27th, he can happily message his gan mei to ask if she is fine for the first day of school.

oh my bloody hell god, she is even important than me. If i didn't check your hp, i'm still toot.

i admit i was wrong to see your privacy, but i can't let myself know nothing about you.

the more i know about you, the more i feel like having a little distance with you.

to me, no matter how many time we patch. Our love will never be the same as the first time.

I'm not an expert at relationships, i don't know how to handle every fight

we are going to have and i will never be a perfect person.

we're both still young, and we still have a lot more to learn.

but i'm willing to take chances, to risk it all, and learn everything there is to know just so

i can keep us together. I won't give up on you unless there's already 0% of love within us.

fate brought 2 of us together since many years ago, it then made us separated again & again.

but it still made us back together, but i'm still the one suffering.

perhaps previous life i owe you a lot, and i'm back to return you today.

are you happy with the outcome that i'm always here for you & i don't get any return?

i will never be there for you all the time, there will be a time that i'll choose to leave forever.

cherish someone hard,

before it will never come back

and love you like someone else couldn't give.

2011-06-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

You can love two people at the same time

but never at the same degree.

well, started my new job yesterday. It's a pretty cool job, which doesn't need much brain.

was feeling bored during work time, as i have not yet learn much skill and knowledge.

heard that there's a new girl coming tomorrow. Hopefully, i can get well with her.

my boss is a damn good person, today he actually packed rice, drinks for me.

without wanting me to pay him back, where to find such a good boss.

i appreciated, and of course i will cherish him as well (:

i learnt how to open cheque to client and all that, perhaps it's a good start.

i need to earn a lot of $$ and enjoy myself for my future, babyboy is earning hard too.

mostly in the office i've been doing nothing, other than facebook-ing, watch movie, blogging.

i want to work hard and strike for the better, O's is coming. My heart nearly stopped. Lol.

alright, recently heard a lot of trusting towards relationship/friendship.

to me, i would like to advice those who trust your friend/stead for like 100%

please correct your own mind set, there will never be a 100% trusting towards a person.

so what if family member, open your eyes big and decide every single things properly.

to me, so yeah what if i am with my babyboy for like 6 years?

his still not yet reach the extent that i should even trust him, to me his not worth trusting.

but yeah i still stupidly love him so much, maybe i owe him too much in my previous life.

everyday i feel that his lying to me, he maybe still contacting some girls which i hate.

i don't know and he know everything the best, i can give him all the things he want.

i can fulfill his wish, but what about mine? i want to mention your name proudly to my friend.

that you're going to be my best baby, husband. May i? Something eventually stopped me.

the trust and everything is going to stop very soon, be it the love or hate.

everything have it's own limit, & my limit of everything is reaching.

love, yeah i love you. But i can't let myself suffer even more, it's my own future.

never gonna let it land it flat in your hand.

when i delete someone from my contacts in my phone,

it feels like i'm deleting that person from existence.

prevention is better than cure.

2011-06-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

Old enough to know better,
Young enough to do it anyway.

celebrated my bitch birthday, was kinda late for her celebration.
met jeff, pearlyn, peiwen, hwa keong and babyboy. Everybody late a little.
ended up = super late, lol! Well, stop those craps and start real topic.
my bitch was really happy on her birthday i suppose, her boyfriend proposed to her.
oh my god, sweet can. How i wish babyboy do that to me too! ):
talk cock, run here and there chasing some asshole. Ate, listen to some jokes.
time passed super fast. Peiwen, babyboy and I left the chalet around 3plus am.
decided to stay @ peiwen's house, i went home to shower while 2 of them waiting for me.
off to peiwen's house, babyboy kept on wanting to play dota like a childish man.
while peiwen and i went to sleep, & that irritating babyboy kept on irritate me while i'm sleeping.
slept for like 1 hour, prepare everything and headed out.
peiwen went to find boyfriend, while i accompany babyboy home as he needs to prepare.
i slept throughout for like 1 and the half hour, while babyboy is preparing himself.
babyboy then realized that i'm on fever, he covered me with a lot of towel.
cooked egg for me to eat before i can take medicine.
this is the first 5 years that, his treating me so caring movement.
at that very moment, how i wish things never stop. He feed with the egg too, k. His great.

went out after taking medicine, heading to universal studio once again.
this is the second time i went to universal, but i don't feel nervous or excited at all.
i was really super sleepy, babyboy never slept for one day. His even hyper than me! LOL.
cylon for that day is really omg, terrible & shiok! Was faster than the previous time i went.
babyboy and i was having a zombie look, we really buay tahan and feel like leaving @ 4pm.
anyway went with leelim & boyfriend, peiwen & boyfriend, and two more lady.
dragged dragged dragged, till 7plus. I was really super tired.
babyboy fall asleep, while having fries. And i finished my fries and went dozing off too.
babyboy and i left first before 8pm, really no more energy. Cabbed home.
shower and immediately slept till the next morning, cool or wad.
happy to receive baby's morning message. I admitted, i really fall back in love with him again.

never force someone to love you, let that person perfectly fall.
because it's nicer to let gravity do the motion than forcely grab affection without attraction.
you've pissed me off, you've made me cry.
you've made me scream but at the end of the day,
i wouldn't want to be with anyone but you.
when you really love someone, age, height, weight or even distance
is just a freaking number to anybody.

for that night i almost did something wrong,
i stopped everything from happening.

2011-06-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

I made a wish,
and it never came true.

Firstly, wishing my dearest babyboy a happy 18th birthday! x3
had movie with babyboy @ Yishun, watched laddaland.
babyboy was really a scary cat, he all the way cover his eyes with his hand.
i was like, nevermind and keep on holding so tightly on my hand!
haha, he was like cute la. Used to be so brave and then watch ghost movie so scared!
after movie, rushed back to Jurong Point for another movie. X-men (:
it was a damn marvelous movie too, can be compare with Green Lantern.
after movie, treated babyboy for dinner @ Fig and Olive.
after max, toilet to do business together and off to meet his and mine ah bunk ah dey.
gave babyboy surprises, and well im glad that he actually really enjoyed himself a lot.
it's because his friend attended too,haha. His wish was like his own friend will be there too.
and well this is my surprises for him, everyone throw flour on him.
poor babyboy was like as white as a piece of paper sheet! Haha, damn man.
after that, babyboy went friend's house and i went off with my all of my girlfriend too.
chatted, and while waiting to be 12am to rush to leelim's house to celebrate with her.
stayed at her house almost reaching 2am, and all of us went home.

never tell someone lies
just to spare their feelings.

2011-06-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

Those were yesterday's feeling.

i've finally realize all the mistake that you've done only yesterday.
it shows how smart and you and how stupid am i to realize it only now.
my heart was totally broke into damn pieces, which i didn't lied you.
it hurts more than anything else after hearing what you've said.
come on, for you i've done everything i can.
we've been together since 13 years old, for those time when we broke off.
i swear that heart there is always a little space that you're in.
for you, you even admitted that for me. You've once stop loving for.
everything you do seriously hurts, although it's all past.
i feel that it will be back anytime again, i should convince myself to believe it.
you're still the wrong man i've seen, although till now i still love you a lot.
for the time i choose to let go, why did you come back to me?
wanted to find a person to hurt, and you remember i'll always be there.?
there's no more next time, i'm trying to stop everything now before things happen again.

i am who i am, becase of the people who knocked me down,
and the ones who helped me up. The one who got inside my head,
and the ones who told me the reality.
the friends i've lost, and the ones i've gained
the people in my life, that have given me memories; good or bad.

pain eventually makes people change.
the one who is going to change will gonna be me.
seriously i am not a second fucking choice.
sometimes we waste too much time to think about
someone that doesn't think about us for a second.

learn to appreciate what you have,
before time makes you appreciate what you had.

2011-06-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

I keep telling myself
" this is the last time",
but it just keeps happening.

babyboy brought me to the universal studio on the 10th of June.
enjoyed myself a lot, we seems like entering a new beautiful world ^^
had the first ride at revenge of mummy, the queue was so super long and scary.
have been trembling after i get down from the ride, it's interesting but to me was all fear.
after that sat on the red roller coaster, lol! it's another scary one.
came down with jelly leg, walking like as if i'm going to fall anytime on the floor.
the roller-coaster was just so damn steep. i hate it! i feel like shouting out, but no voice came out!
watched some performance by the people inside, had 4D streak movie too.
it's nice but babyboy and i was sitting at the last row, the view of watching was not really nice.
was forced to take blue roller-coaster, it's the 360 degree most frightening game ever!
i declined to take, babyboy kept on nagging, dragging and scolded me or blahblahblah.
i still rejected, ended up he went up himself. He came down, we went for dinner.
the food was just so damn expensive, lol. Like robbery in the daylight! (:
after that, his mouth started again kept on nagging, dragging me all the way to the roller-coaster.
i told him once i get down from the blue roller-coaster i will never forgive him,
sitting on the roller-coaster with heart jumping super duper fast -.- all thanks to him.
afterall, i feel that blue roller-coaster was better than the red one! (:
it's just all about 360 degree turning, red one was more to like steep sliding down. LOL!
in the end i also forgave him, and he took advantages. LOL, dragged me up again.
i was like yelling, screaming, nagging, shouting that i reluctant, too bad i was up again -.-
took few pictures only, overall i still enjoyed with babyboy! :D his great!

evon overnight at my house on the 10th, on the 11th. Woke up 11 plus, shower.
and off to central with evon for lunch! (: couldn't finish my food think due to the super milo.
went to herbal shop to buy bird nest for peiwen's mum. Evon kup with me.
brought lunch back for family, and off to meet peiwen under my void deck.
surprised me with balloons and cake! walked to her house, passed her mum the bird best.
chatted for like half an hour, and rushed home. Shower again due to the super hot sun.
suppose to reach the BBQ place at around 3pm, ended up 4.30pm then reach.
had a great fun over there, camwhore for like the whole day. I didn't expected that everyone turned up for my birthday, i was shock and i swear it's the best birthday
i ever had for this 18th years. for the bad part was i didn't celebrate
with my family at all for this first 18th years. Ton for the whole day and reached home at about 630am , shower and off to work without sleeping!
super cool, like a zombie working with eyes half closed. Tahan till 1pm and home!
reached home immediately fall asleep in my bed. Woke up at about 7pm.
had dinner, used computer and missing someone badly. lol, his bad didn't contact me.
but nevermind just fuck him will do, i knew outcome was like that. Who cares. LOL.

as for today 13th june, woke up at 1pm.
doing nothing, staring at my handphone, watching tv, and had cup noodles.
staring at the computer doing nothing, and there half of my day passed.
accompany mother to giant to buy some stuff and back home, had dinner.
used computer again, and off to meet Cynthia near her house there.
she had dinner at kfc and we was discussing about babyboy's and leelim's birthday.
don't really discuss anything, more to our own topic haha!
walked to Jastine's house, she wants to pass something to Cynthia.
walked back to bus stop and waited babyboy, a good girlfriend like me fetched him home.
send him back to sembawang mrt, and i trained home myself ):
all the way was half chatting with him on phone and sms-ing with leelim.
i regretted of doing something, now was really late to change anything.
sorry to those who i disappointed, for the next time it happen again. I promise, i'll be different.
off to sleep soon. Bye, and i know no more reader was reading.

i hate seeing people go back to the same person
who hurt them 1378562140 times.
thankful that i'm actually one of them -.-

2011-06-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people bring up mistake
I made a long time ago.

early in the morning was being pulled up from bed by my parents.
prepared everything, fetch cousin from bukit batok and off to pasir ris.
brother was going to check in to army in tekong today.
although don't really talk to him, but his still my brother.
without seeing him at all, feel so damn uncomfortable.
first time taking ship ^^ super giddy, lucky didn't kena sea sick if not will be vomiting.
mother kept crying non-stop, can see that he don't bear my brother to leave too (:
sister later on cried too, haha. Actually i wanting to cry too, but just wanna keep face.
i stopped my tears from falling down, but actually i missed him a lot too.
bid goodbye to brother and all went off, dinner @ bukit batok.
reached home on computer and chatted with Jastine' darling while tearing away.
brother called back, his only 30plus kg and bag is 20 to 28kg already.
i really freaking don't know what more to say, i feel the pain there too.
hope to see brother back on 24th June (: counting down.

just because somebody flirts with you, doesn't mean they like you.
just because somebody likes you, doesn't mean they want to go out with you.
just because somebody wants to go out with you, doesn't mean that they love you.
just because somebody loves you, doesn't mean they won't hurt you.
because people lie, things change. Boyfriends cheat, best friends ditch.
and there are always going to be those people who would kill to see you fall.

beginnings are always scary, and endings are usually sad.
but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living.
if you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right,
always go for whatever makes you happy.
unless you want everybody to be happy except you.

letting go is something you do when you still love someone
but just don't believe in them anymore.

2011-06-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

Girls are like superheroes.
Who else can bleed for a week and not die? ;

started my new work as a admin executive (personal assistant).
was quite a hard job to me, manager expect me to able to close two case in a day.
whereby a lot of people was like not interested, already got agent.
i will be ask to leave after like few days if i haven close any cases.
trying to find my friend, cousin for help to buy insurance whereby deducting from only medisave.
no one wants to help, claim that no use. Touchwood who knows one day you might met with
an accident or touchwood dengue fever. People just assume they don't need any precaution.
i won't force them either, it's their freedom to choose what they want (:
suppose to work monday to wednesday, ended up only working on monday.
today and tomorrow not going work, lol. Seriously, i'm not interested in this work at all.
don't have the form of urge to go to work, like 8 hour calling customer without stopping .__.
think gonna find new job soon again, job come to mama please. i need you! ):

Funny how it works, people enter our lives when we least need it.
when we're already content, maybe even happy, with being alone.
they convince us that everyone needs a little company, so we let them in.
and when we least expect it, when we can't even fathom the idea of being alone.
they vanish, leaving us to find that same happy we were before they walked in.

if you leave without a reason, don't come back with an excuse.
if two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their ways back
into each others arms, no matter what.
you're not supposed to look back, you're supposed to keep going.

and just when i think i'm over you.
you text me ...

2011-06-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

Give laugh to all but smile to one,
give love to all but heart to one,
give life to all but live for one.

the best part about being in a relationship:
it's knowing that you can turn to someone whenever you need them.
it's having someone to sleep next to, to hug and to kiss when your days seems bleak.
just those things alone can brighten up your day.
it's knowing that someone loves you back.
it's getting a call or text in the morning saying '' good morning babe ''.
it's knowing that people accept you for who you are.
then after you get to wake up while they're still asleep.
it's looking at them and remembering how lucky you are to have someone like them in your life.
those are the best part.

i wish i could explain to you how much i love you.
it's like my heart could burst any minute.
it's like the first day of school as a kid; weak knees, nerves going haywire, mind racing.
wanting to relieve all of the beautiful moments leading up to now.
it's so many things and it's strange to think that you feel that way too.
i'm lucky i fell in love with as beautiful of a person as you.
you're amazing, i love you.

i always thought that everything happens for a reason,
but later on i found out that sometimes reason are not enough
to explain why everything happened.

2011-05-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

stayed at home for the second day already, feeling so much better than going out.
didn't have cash now too, still waiting for my bloody pay to bank in.
today i slept till almost 1pm then wake up, woke up with heavy coughing, heavy flu and headache.
thanks mum for buying lunch for me, half eating and all the way in living room watching drama.
was on phone with boyfriend for quite a long time, miss chatting with her.
in the past we use to chat on the phone everynight, now hardly put still memorable.
hang down call, went for bathe, came out dinner and tuition till 9pm.
on msn with laogong now, waiting her to be right back (:
everyday i'm just doing nothing at home, O's is coming nearer. I'm so damn worried!

men always say that they're different in this and that -.- ended up they are of one kind,
text everyday and out of the sudden they just lost contact. it simply seems cool to me,
because i know what kind of person from my assuming.
i'm smart enough to let go of everything so quickly,
cause human like all these are nothing to me. I'm gonna carry on with my career and studies,
for other things is gonna be put aside. men to me is no longer important, want they can come,
want to go. You may just leave. i don't need anyone to be there, as long as my sisters all are with me. out of the sudden, missing my babyboy, wonder what is he doing now.

i really wonder why people suddenly change after they get what they wanted.
one day they are sweet, the next day they are not.
one day they are here, the next day they are not.
one day you are important to them, the next day you are worthless.
one day they say they love you, the next day they don't even care.
that's how ironic things and people can be.
pretty shits, pretty lines, pretty fucked up.
but it's still your choice, cause you choose to get hurt, when you choose to be in love.

in any moment of decision.
the best thing you can do is the right thing.
the next best thing is the wrong thing.
and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

a girl can be your best friend,
worst enemy,
a real sweetheart,
or a real bitch.
it all depends on how you treat her.

2011-05-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

SIBLINGS
your worst enemies you can never live without.

as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down,
probably will. You'll have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder evertime.
you'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
you'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things and old one did.
you'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
so take many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

life is difficult for everyone. We all have stress and we all need someone in our lives that
we can eventually lean on. Never think that you cannot talk to someone because
they have problems to or that your friend or loved one would be better off without you or
your problems. You'll soon find out that they need you just as much as you need them.

messaged a lot with him from the very start, till now a few words towards each other.
he should know who is he, and so yeah randomly we'll stop all contact.
to me doesn't matter. Man are only good at saying i'll be there when you need me.
you are important to me blah blah, all along i know this was the outcome.
i gave up man, i'm very serious. You, you & you isn't my cup of tea at all. Goodbye!

don't fall for words,
fall for actions.

2011-05-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

There's a bridge between me and happiness,
and you're the only link.

life is like a roller-coaster, it has ups and downs.
but it's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.
it's hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.
we have no scar to show for happiness, we learn so little from peace.
once you love someone, even after you move on.
it will always hurt to see them with someone else.

real man stay faithful.
they don't have time to look for other woman because
they're too busy looking for new ways to love their own.
i like you, you put up with my bullshit as always.
if i was in a crowd, you probably wouldn't notice me.
i don't really stand out but somehow you did.

Life would have been so much easier if someone had just told me which friends to keep
and which to let go, which boys to hold on and which boys to dismiss,
which battles to fight for and which to ignore.
it would have saved me a whole lot of heartache.
without you days are like:
moandays, tearsdays, wastedays, thirstdays, fuckdays, shatterdays and saddays.

well, my life is still moving on. Found a job and will be starting work on Monday.
I'm a bit worry that I cannot cope it and will be fired again.
I just knew a man name Tian En in facebook, i'll tend not to get so negative
all thanks to him, even some of my friend said that i've become more positive.
his encouragement and yeah just wanted to thanks him a lot.
but too bad, his trying to hard to help me yet i couldn't even help him much at all.
his also in a negative side, i can only standby him whenever he needs me.
so well, Tian En! Just jiayou and i wish that You're able to find a friend that would really be
by your side whenever you need them except me. Be more social-able.
i've a feel that you sure can do it ! (: all the best.

sorry isn't a verb,
don't expect it to fix things for you.

2011-05-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Pain makes people change.

being in a relationship is scary. There are many aspects to it.
it takes trust, patience, and understanding. It takes time, sometime it come with doubts.
am i good enough? why am i so boring? do they feel the same?
all these thoughts, it makes You work harder. It makes you change things up.
the thought of you feeling more for them than they do for you.
the thought of it's going to be like last time or the fear of losing them after coming so far.
just face the facts, they can walk out of your life anytime.
that's why we all have to fight for love. Things we go through to keep what we have strong.
it's all worth it, if you make it worth it.

reason of able to let go of my past, it's because i fall for another man.
turned out, it only last for 1 week. & everything is back to where i fall.
the man turned out just to be a flirt, i'm stupid to fall in love with a flirter.
maybe because of the things he had done for me which my ex can't.
although it might be short, but i still cherish the little moment together.
i'm now back to the point where i fall, and hurt.
it didn't make me tear, after all of the lesson i finally realized that i'm strong and i've grown up.
i curse those flirt man can't find a true girl to love them, they don't deserve to be love.

i'm the kind of girl that when i cry, i cry.
when i fall for someone, i fall too hard.
people tell me i'm too intense when it comes to emotions.
i'll do anything to be around you.
i don't always look perfect and sometimes i get insecure.
and i may have flaws.
but i'll love you better than anyone else ever could.

don't text me when you're bored.
it's not my job to entertain you, okay?

2011-04-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

Love leaves a memory that no one can steal,
but sometimes, it leaves a heartache that no one else can heal.

I'm finally back to update my dead blog, within a month a lot of things happened.
and yeah, Jianwei and i really broke off. It's meant t be i supposed.
i did broke down, but perhaps for a week. Now i'm slowly recovering, trying to stay strong.
my temp job was finally started like 3 days ago, ended up quarrel with my friend.
and i just don't feel like going t work again, and yeah guess wad? I'm jobless again.
why do i deserve all this, it's the problem with me or with the friend i've hang out with?
i seriously cherish everyone, i don't ever take people for granted and i love everyone.
is it a karma on me or what? i feel so depressed, i feel that i'm getting depression soon.
i have been having insomnia since the day he broke off with me, cannot sleep with empty mind.
and things kept on coming to me, what am i suppose t do now? Hackcare, do nothing?
i can't, i really can't. Why am i behaving so negatively? I wish things would turn out better.

i'm pretending that i'm strong, it's just fine to cry as much as i want.
but this will never ever make me feel better, because things can't be solved.
a broken heart doesn't need someone who's willing t make it whole again
rather it needs someone who can make it realize that it never really got broken at all.
the life i really want only exists in my daydreams.

tough time don't last, tough people do.
fuck your past before it fucks You.

2011-03-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

The people who want to stay in your life
will always find a way.

this might be my last post already, no one is reading my blog compared to the past.
i hate people who show me their cold and hot at different times.
i don't think that i should deserve all this at all.
Jianwei i really don't know how much i owed You, have You make fun enough of me?
if it is, just stop playing with me again, again, over & over again.
im your girlfriend, not your toy for You t care and hackcare like and as You wish.
seriously, all this i'd enough, i can actually just give up and let go.
but i love You, just because of this 3 words i'm making myself suffered like hell.
is this the state You wanted t see me in? I knew i did all kinds of bastard stuff before t You.
i don't even think that You're serious this time, behind my back messaging contacting with
other girls, i closed one eyes. it doesn't mean You're able to take advantages.
seriously, enough. All this are enough, just freak You for all this 1 year.

Jianwei, i think it's really time for us to end everything.
i don't need t suffer, & You don't need to act as if You still love me.
all along this 1 year we patched, it's just another memories for both of us.
okays, enough! all this should ended. I still love You a lot, but sorry it isn't worth keep me waiting.
i think i'm able to get over it, it's the time that matter. Why would You become so heartless.
4 years ago, still the same word. I'm sorry that i changed You.
You're the best stead that i'd, gave me happiness, sadness & yeah everything.
wishing You all the best for the rest of your life, stop mahjong-ing & attend school daily.
think a little for your parents, & cherish them before touch wood they're gone.

goodbye is always the saddest word.
but without goodbye, there wouldn't be a new hello.

2011-03-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

It's better to have an enemy who frankly says
he/she hates You, than to keep a friend,
who's putting You down secretly.

relationships do not get easier, everyday is a struggle.
each day is a battle, it doesn't get easier with time.
in fact, it gets harder. The secret is finding someone who's willing to be weak and
strong with you at the same time. The secret is finding someone who's willing to
work with You and who will push You, challenge You, make it harder for you to leave.
the beauty is in the struggle. True love doesn't curse when it hurts,
doesn't give up when it's hard, & doesn't hate when it's time to let go.

went to Jianwei's house on Sunday, he deleted history of my blog website.
it shows that he no longer ever gonna step into it anymore.
i didn't saw the Doraemon that i gave it to him, i suspect he threw it away.
but he said, it's washing. I don't know which of the sentence his speaking truth.
i don't know what to do and how to solve when things came together in a row.
he no longer holding my hand, no longer calling me baby.
he treated me totally like a strangers, phone call getting little.
and his getting very heartless in every single things, so i doubt he'll remember me after
we are breaking up or what, every year reaching our years anniversary.
he'll then have a lot of stunt, treating me cold. Yeah, blah blah. All enough.

You can't change what's done, You can't go back in time,
You can't try to change the hurt feelings or mend the broken hearts.
all You can do is learn from your mistakes, and hope You will never
regret anything as much as You do now.

2011-02-24T14:25:00.000-08:00

I may have been the one to end us,
but i still love You.

I've tender up my resignation letter, finally i feel so relieved.
but still I'm searching for other jobs now. Or else, who gonna pay my tuition fees.
like finally leaving that company, i feel more happier than everyday thinking so much.
i need a break in between to rest too. Quite tired for all this while.
needed more sleep, headache have been everyday almost acting up.
jiayou Christine, You are the one only can help yourself to walk pass all this.

Psychological Facts:
when a person cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye,
it's from happiness. But when the first roll is from the left, it is pain.
this psychological facts is up to your to believe.
but i was thinking, whoever people cried. Who bothers and care which side roll tears down first.
haha, but perhaps from now onwards can try to test it out (:

life for me was hard to walk, I've finally know what's life.
and what a reality world, and people we'll met. It's cruel & painful.
gonna move on, those who kept on changing boyf, girlf like clothes.
please stop all this, it's like kinda your still don't know what's love.
think twice for the future, it's not a game or what.

Just because You can't find a guy who treats You right,
doesn't mean You should be with someone who doesn't

2011-02-15T17:25:00.000-08:00

It's better to laugh about everything,
than cry about nothing.

I'm back for blogging! (:
yesterday was Valentine's Day, i was happy that last year i wasn't with him, but this year was.
but things doesn't turned out good at all, everything just cocks up.
we quarreled for like no bloody reason, for just little things.
i tend to angry with him for every action or little things he did that i hate it.
but i was still happy that I'm able to celebrate with him this year, next year perhaps no more.
he brought flower for me day before Valentine's Day, i was happy & touched okay.
it was quite surprising, for a un-romantic man like him. HAHA!
on the way home, i was just angry with him again & at the moment i did wanted to let go of him.
i find it hard & of course i wouldn't bear, i don't know i can tolerate the nonsense how long,
soon, it will be bidding goodbye! Hope, it's the day that i really given up on him.

some say that you don't know what you have until you lose it.
but what if you knew what you had and you and you lost it anyway?
it's okay to fall in love and let them know how you feel,
but be sure you are in the position and time to do so.
perhaps one day i may regret the way we ended up,
but i will never regret what we had.
memories is hard to erase, unless they are heartless.

i' have been fighting for too long,
and now i don't know what am i fighting for.

2011-01-19T10:54:00.000-08:00

Just look up,
We are both under the same starry sky.

people say, past is past, but it's not like You won't ever look back.
there will always be that one day when You randomly decide to look back at the
good times You've had and maybe even the bad times.
they tell You to forget your past and let it all go, but the past is really important,
including all of the crap that was brought into it. Without making mistakes,
having regrets, being negative, losing the few people here and there.
without any of that, You wouldn't learn how to accept the changes in life You're going
to face all that time, You wouldn't realize who are the people that actually matter to You.
sometimes You've to be negative to knock some positivity into your life.
sometimes You're going to make mistake after another after another,
to finally figure out what You really need to do.
sometimes people are meant to have broken hearts and broken relationships,
for You to have a chance to fight back for what You want or to see if there really was
something between You and that significant other.
we have to remember the past, why? because the past is what made You today.

i learned a lot about friendships, i lost people that were once my best friends.
i lost old friendships that i thought would last for a life.
people i once trusted ended up showing me the opposite.
although i lost those people, i also build more valuable relationships with those who stayed.
i kept the friends that are really mattered.
i gained stronger friendship with people who were there for me.
i realized that besides family, i only have a few people i can rely on, but it's okay.
having a huge group of friend isn't that great when most can care less about You.
in the end, having few valuable friendship with people who really have your back is
always worth so much more.

i love You,
but i have done chasing You.

2011-01-15T11:20:00.000-08:00

I need to stop being so
emotional about everything.

hello dear blog, i'm back blogging.
things had changed, i have break friendship with my best partner, best boyfriend.
she have her own life now, I'll wish her all the best (:
never would i think of asking her back, i knew her life without me is still as beautiful.
so just gonna wish her all the best ahead, i didn't feel very sad or what.
because we had also drifted apart, she have her own friends while i have mine.
still happy that i once have a sister cum boyfriend like her.
it's over now & life is still moving on as normal.

friends is easy to find, but true friends is hard to find.
friends can have a lot, true friend only can have one or few.
now i don't even have a true friend that can talk to.
but i believe sooner i will be able to find one and take over her place.
since secondary 1, so much things we have done together.
punish together, mad together, do bad things together, in fact height almost same, weight too.
haha, we just look like those twin sister excluding face uh.
although some people did asked us whether we're twins before.
this will be the last post of her inside my blog.
goodbye ex - friend.

life is still gonna move on,
no more past, but current & future.

2011-01-06T00:58:00.000-08:00

Knowing each other by accident,
staying together for a reason.

many things gonna changed, a new life ahead.
how disappointing if your friend looked down on You isn't it?
it's not only normal friends, is those very close friend.
hurt is hurt, but yeah i don't wanna make things big. I tear just inside.
things is getting hard to move on, but i must try my best to keep myself carry on.

baby was oversea, same. Once he have dota, i'm again nothing.
use to call me for like chat few min, now? Not even a single call.
i gave up, i completely gave up on You.
happy dota-ing with his primary school friends i supposed.
i just cannot stop what You are doing & give me a min to listen to wad i have to say.
You know im down, but You just simply don't ask me what happened.
i must be really damn blind, i don't blame myself. I blame my heart.

life can be so unfair.
cooking a meal takes one hour,
but eating it takes five minutes.
earning $2000 takes 30 days,
but paying cashier $1500 for a product only takes two second.

nothing can stop me now.
cause i don't care anymore.

2011-01-01T19:21:00.000-08:00

My biggest fear is losing You
Please don't ever make me face that fear
You have absolutely no idea how much
You mean to me.

Happy new year! Welcome 2011 (:
2010 have past, stop thinking back what happen and move on for our new life in new year.
had my last day of 2010 spending with my Pearlyn' dear, cabbed down to Vivo city for movie
was late for half an hour, it's my fault for preparing so late ):
overall the movie was awesome one, too bad missed front part.
back to Jurong Point and catching another movie @ 1.50am.
that movie was awesome too, lazy to elaborate what movie i have watched.
so yeah, slacked after movie saw my Zhenyuan' Kor. Okay, i missed hanging out with him.
home @ 4plus am, had a short chat with my dearest mother & slept @ 5.30am.
jitao dead meat after conversation with my cutest mum.

BabyLuv fly away on last day of 2010, 8am.
didn't even get to celebrate the last year with him, so yeah hope he enjoyed over there.
necklance above was my belated Christmas present from my BabyLuv.
so sweet of him, after so many years it's the first loving present given by him.
he might not be sweet nor surprising, but his just more than enough that i've been asking for.
indeed, i missed him so much when his now not even in Singapore.
i login my msn everyday, 24hour. Just to worry that his bored and wanted to chat with me.
& it's the only way they we could stay contact with, first day reached there.
chatted with me on msn for awhile, and went MIA. i onlined for like so long.
didn't even saw him online, i missed him, can't even chat with him.
what am i suppose to do now? Like an idiot waiting, while sleeping woke up for few hours.
worry that he might be still awake and chat with me in msn, but i was wrong.
as long as his fine over there and enjoying, i'm more than happy. So yeah.
waiting for You to be back, or perhaps once You're back. We'll changed.

life is unfair. You put someone first who puts You second.
You study your ass off for a final only to get a B in the class when You deserved an A.
You gave 110% to someone in a relationship when they only give 40%.
You're there for your friend at 3am, when they need it the most &
the next day they didn't pick up the phone. You give something your all &
sometimes get little nothing back.You care so much about someone who doesn't care enough
about You to say hi once in a while. You give someone your time & they give You
"I'm sorry, I'm busy" It seems like You're giving everyone everything & they're just
walking away from it.

it's like half of me wants to be with You,
and my other half wants me get over You
i guess i'll always have that something for You.

2010-12-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

You are the risk,
I'll always take.

Firstly, Merry Christmas to everyone !
this was the first 17 years i spent so much money on Christmas Present for all of my beloved.
few hundred dollars, and of course i won't feel heart pain.
seeing your love one opening the present and show their happiness smile.
this is the happiest things i could ever done to them.
and this is the first 17 years that i didn't receive any Christmas Present.
I'm fine with it actually, because i don't lack of anything either (:

Few years ago Christmas was always celebrated with friends, or couple dates.
this is the first year that I'm celebrating with my BabyLuv only.
although we didn't really celebrate but just normal shopping, and hanging out.
i will still feel very happy whenever i was with him.
it seems like no one could ever replace him inside my heart.
it might be true, it might be not. God will help me do every decision.
this few days spending time with BabyLuv, time passed super fast.
how i wish time could ever slow down for him and me.
let me love him, show him my care, let me takecare of him.

I'm gonna be a mature girl from now onwards.
he have been tolerating my temper, my attitude, my unreasonable actions.
i guess he had enough. So am i have enough of all of his nonsense.
I'll just accept whatever things regarding about him. It's the facts that i Loved him.
which doesn't have any choice to make me stop loving him.
although i know that one day he might just walk away again.
i just have to admit my fate & wish him all the best for every path he move on.
Christine Whally will always Love my BabyLuv, till the day he choose to move on without me.

there will never be a quote that explains how much You mean to me,
never a song that truly hits the spot,
not enough words to tell You how i feel,
and not enough time to show how long i wanna be with You.

i wish i was cuddled
in your arms right now.

2010-12-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

there's something about You
that made me wouldn't give up.

First day in Chalet
first of all, happy birthday to Cynthia on that day (:
reached our chalet place located at Coasta Sand Pasir Ris Resort.
the place looked kinda haunted, lol! But afterall. The aircon was marvelous one.
rest ourself in the room before wenfa set fire for the BBQ.
he was a nice guy after we have spend with him for that one day in chalet.
baby came afterwards brought a lot of things with him, as i asked him to buy uh.
thanks baby so so much, although we had some conflicts before he came.
Cynthia and bunch of friends came in the evening, bbq for them to eat.
and they played around happily, some camwhoring around.
i love all this life, surrounded with friends for example. Feels so happy.
everyone went off at around 11plus pm in the night, Jubellina started to be auntie.
asked all of us to wash our leg and sit on the bed, she is moping the floor and clearing stuff.
all went to shower, pokercard session! Played all the way till 4plus, all started to get hungry.
ordered Macdonald delivery and slept at 5plus, while baby and i slept at 6plus.
he kept playing those fei yi qing song and sing it aloud somemore! LOL.
disturbed all of my poor thing friends, bastard him.

Second day in Chalet
all woke up at 11plus, wanted to bbq things immediately. But guess what?
our charcoal was missing! Lol, i went next door to steal.
but lucky neighbor was checked out. Haha, had BBQ for the whole afternoon.
Wenfa ordered Pizza. Everyone started showering at around 4 plus to 5plus.
baby slept again, wake him up using a lot of method. Jubellina & Wenfa left.
Peiwen, Leelim, Baby and I cabbed down to Seragoon Nex.
had our movie, sucky boring i suppose. LOL! After show, brought BBQ things again.
a little one, Bryan coming which was Peiwen's boyfriend.
BBQ till around 11plus or 12 plus, had pokercard game after showering all that.
i drank and face totally turned red. Baby don't allow me to continue.
he put me to bed, and they continued. Baby got hot water for me to drink.
that is the time that i feel that his caring, his loving me, he has me inside his heart.
slept at 6am plus, headache totally ruined my mood and couldn't get to sleep.

Third day in Chalet
Everyone was up, my head is still aching badly. so damn badly.
showered everything, checked out. Shuttle bus to Pasir Ris Mrt for Macdonald Breakfast.
trained all the way home after that, unpacked my stuff and nap for few hours.
showered everything and meet baby at central again, had our dinner under void deck.
while waiting for leelim dar to come back dinner with her parents.
Peiwen and boyfriend then came after that, slacked slacked everyone left at 10pm plus.
baby send me home and went to meet Bryan and home together.
seriously, i love my baby a lot. But i don't know if he feels this way.
just v. afraid to lose him again and again, this time i realized how to cherish.
baby, i hope You understand me. I'll never tie You, my promise to You.

i want You to stay forever by my side,
You're the important sunlight i needed to live on.

2010-12-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

I hope this December,
I will remember hard.

FML seriously, i have been living in wad kind of life?
boring life, shag life, worrying life, clumsy life.
i wanna get myself a life man, ding ding ding dong!
chalet is coming, christmas day is coming & new year is coming.
after that wad stupid life will i have in the next year again?
sigh! Life's just sux everything man, gonna wake up & have stand up right!

wanted to study for o level next year, haven yet find another tuition teacher.
everything was like only saying without action.
god bless me, im dying soon man.
i wanna have a better future & have more more money!
although it comes with hard work, i hope i can tolerate the current Job.
the pay was really well little man, lol! Not enough for me to spend on my things.
gonna buck up & find a better Job instead. The people here sometime like monster.
hmph, i wanna love and care for those people whom are worth.

i don't need a perfect boyfriend, i just want someone to act silly with,
someone who treats me well & Loves being with me more than anything.
please don't be like others, prove to me You're different.
show me that You're worth fighting for.

You make me feel %^&^%$#@
but in a good way ;

2010-12-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

My heart is drunk with beauty

life's was still the same, i'm still in one piece (:
and fats didn't decrease but keep increasing, that's so damn marvelous.
what's all of my friend busying about now? I'm glad to know Jingyi as a friend.
but somehow i don't think we'll contact sooner because nobody wants to talk about past things.
and i'm also trying to move on and on. Never regret falling in Love.
treated everything as a piece of lesson and learn from the mistake.
i'm so looking forward to our chalet, although it's not like a lot people coming
it shows that how much friends i have? I'm a loner isn't it? Haha, yup.
gonna get to know more people. Hopefully, my boy could takecare of himself.
i'm gonna stop here, short post for today. Gonna go home! It's raining so heavily now! ._.

guess i'm falling out of love,
but gonna move on.

2010-11-26T17:10:00.000-08:00

My mind tells me to give up,
But my heart won't let me.

Neglected Feeling
which person Loved to be neglected by their boyfriend/girlfriend?
i believed nobody like. Same goes to me, sometime i wondered why am i treated so unfairly.
my girlfriend got their boyfriend to message, or talk to each other in phone.
my boyfriend most likely everyday will call me, but now he hang out with his friends.
and i supposed that he already forgotten that he have a girlfriend, and where's his girlfriend.
i just hope You won't regret for what You are doing now, just because You have your friends.
You dumped me aside, once remember me then give me a text making me happy for a short while.
can You stop adding onto my stress if You don't even have the heart to stay with me at all.
please leave la, i rather You dump me forever than dumping me bit by bit till i feel so dead inside.
when i need You, where are You? When You need me, did i appear?
i've been treated like a dog and clinging onto You when You needed me.
You mean all i did was never enough to make You feel that i Loved You that much?
this is the maximum i can give out already, holding You back a not. All relying on You.
i kept holding You back, You kept trying to run away from me. I shall let You be happy isn't it?
i won't be selfish this time, my relationship was always sucky than anyone else.
just because i was once a bitch, and i wasn't given any chance to change myself.

sometime i wondered is god being unfair to me? why treated me in this way.
as in use that man to come and hurt me again and again and made me still Love him so much.
and once in a while i think back, perhaps god is teaching me not to fall in Love so deeply.
i will get back to same hurting and pain if i continue being so clinging onto a relationship.
maybe it does make me have a mature thinking, but still i need time to get rid of memories.
it kinda hard, but i believe i shall move on my life without him. He shall be my memories.
i'll move on to a place and station at a place which there's a man willing to share things together.
i always thought that if i stop thinking of him, i can forget him faster. I'm wrong.
it's the time that matter, at least i'll never cry for him like as if someone is dying or so.
it's time for me to grow up and have a better mind set and live on my life with happiness (:

close your eyes and pretend You didn't see a thing,
i guess it won't hurt that much then ..

2010-11-20T12:41:00.000-08:00

I may not have given You a lot to remember,
but please don't forget me.

What's wrong?
what happened to some couples recently?
broke up after such a long relationship, maybe it might be months.
but the time they spend together was like the relationship was really v. long.
i hope those who just broke up, can reflect on what to do to patch back again.
finding a person whom You really cherish and Love was really a v. hard thing to do.
like me, i was once a bitchy and i dumped my favorite man.
he changed, i accepted. Because i was the one at faults, & i still Love him.
in a relationship need two hands to claps, give in to each other if possible.
i'm in a relationship of 8th Month now, but seriously i wasn't happy at all.
he neglected me, we're only able to meet once in a week.
how much i miss him, how much i wanna talk to him. We just couldn't.
i'm not happy with my life at all, i prefer we can go back to our secondary life.
which im able to see You 1 week full solid. Really, but everything wasn't the same anymore.
i just want to see You safe & living happily with your life.

when You lose someone, someone You Love. When they break your heart.
it's the hardest thing You could ever go through and no matter how much time has passed,
it never really goes away. You may think You're getting better, but then You get a flashback,
or hear a song that reminds You of a memory, and it hits You all over again,
all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart for the hundredth time.
and You just feel like You just want to crawl under a rock and never come out.
You love this person with all of your heart, even You know You shouldn't.
they hurt You worse than You've ever been hurt, they stole your happiness.
but yet, You still want them and only them. Other people come a long and give You
chances to move on but You know You don't want to, it upsets You that You might be moving on
because You promised You never would and even though they broke all their promises.
You want to keep yours on top of that, You're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again.
at the end of the day You're still thinking about the person who has left You completely broken.
You don't want to miss them anymore, You don't want to love them anymore,
but You know You always will.

i hope that one day You will realize
that i really care.

2010-11-18T05:25:00.000-08:00

Sometime,
I just need someone to talk to.

The man i would marry

1. someone who thinks I'm pretty even if i have no makeup on & even if my hair is messy.
2. someone who will play with my hair while I'm lying down on his tights.
3. someone who will give me a back and head massage whenever i feel pressured and stressed.
4. someone who will buy my comfort food whenever i feel bad.
5. someone who treat me right.
6. someone who could get along with my family and friends.
7. someone who will not think I'm stupid.
8. someone's who's very responsible to take care of me and my family.
9. someone who will spoil me.
10. someone promise to love & never hurt me.

I have screwed up a million times and each time i have done it differently,
in the past, i could make big fuss over things.
now i don't really, even though things happened. Most likely, i will hackcare.
no point confronting You when You don't even dare to tell me the truth right?
sometime your words hurt, but You weren't know.
to You it was just joking. You think it's joking or funny to me ? =.=
the reason why i hardly text-ed You, because You don't like to return my message.
the reason why i hardly called You, because no matter how many times i called,
You will just bloody press away and hang my call isn't it?
reason was, You are playing with your phone games.
You know how much can i still endure? Maybe 10 more percent.
i tried all my best already, boy. I really really gave up.
Jingyi told You a lot of my things, ask You to read my blog. I know You didn't.
she said I was emo, You told her i always emo emo & You don't know why.
You don't even take sometime to read what's inside me. You're fucked useless.
You have a girlfriend, & You asked your own girlfriend. Why no one get number from You?
You want, i could ask them get number from You. Just for the sake of them asking You for number.
You really don't understand me and You bloody hurt me billion -'- it man.

there are days where i feel
like escaping from everything ;

2010-11-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

I love You
I really really love You
But I'm really tired .

Fuck Love -'-
Loving a person wasn't easy, therefore why was it called love.
now i have decided to use the hardest word goodbye to end everything.
i trusted him, he hide things from me.
i treated him good, he took me for granted.
i never flared up my temper, he thought that i have get used of everything.
if by saying goodbye do solve, & it doesn't hurt You. I'm leaving.
being together nearly 8 months again, did You think a bit for me?
fucking You basket, comment other girls -'- sweet with other girls -'-
yeah I'm a human without heart ? So that You can think that it's nothing.
oh just fuck it man, who are You? I'm gonna fuck it upside down .
supposed to be a revenged, ended up it just oh fuck it man.
I'm never gonna ever sad and tear for You again.
I use my life to swear it, it won't effect me sooner. Basket, I hate You -'-

I found out so many things, but i never confront You.
because i still thought of not quarreling with You.
i texted You, tell me reason that You are working.
& i bloody saw You replying people in facebook.
i got quarrel with You anot ? i act i don't know anything.
and You ever have the fucking cheek to lie to me.
all thanks to You, i really gave up lahhs basket bastard.
seriously, You're nothing to me from then on.
piece of shit that i wasted so many years loving for. Nabei fucker ;

Freedom or Control,
freedom will be your answer.
& i shall let You go and find your happiness
as well as freedom.

2010-10-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Take note that in mind,
I'm a human.
You're just using a non living things
to compared with me, i'll fuck You upside down.

i think no one step into a relationship was like as worse as me.
i missed my boyfriend, i called him in the middle of the night.
he hang my phone, i called 10 plus time. He just pressed it away.
behind, he send me a text scold me and said what his making iphone things.
and i kept calling him simi lanjiao, said his fucked up scold me ccb.
haha, yeah. According all this, it shows that i can't even compare with an iphone.
what a beautiful relationship im having, he totally sux to the super max.
i missed him, call him got wrong? It's really over my limit already.
if You wants me to hackcare, wants me to stop calling You, wants me to stop texting You.
just tell me straight, & now i don't need You to say. The answer was well shown.

to you if love was so easy to be taken for granted.
now, immediately you can go and find which girl is stupid as me.
can tolerate you, no matter how much fucking stuff You have done.
i think there won't be such a woman anymore, i'm the one left in this world.
kena dumped, kena lied, kena everything. Ended up, i never learned my lesson.
but don't worry, ever since last night. I can know how much i stand inside your heart.
can't even compare to an iphone, or your fucking games.
no matter how fucking much i love you, it's totally fucking useless.
i will find the fastest way to stop loving, caring about You.
seeing friends around me, are so sweet with boyfriend. But me, i can do nothing but to envy.

when a person is weak, taken for granted.
when a person became strong, You're nothing.

2010-10-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

You should have opened your eyes,
i was crazy for You.

Life Natural High
falling in Love
hearing your favorite song on the radio
lying in bed listening to the rain outside
bubble baths
giggling
long conversation late at night
laughing at an inside joke
laughing at yourself
laughing so hard your stomach hurts
laughing for no absolutely no reason at all
friends
having someone telling you that you are beautiful.

Is this the world?
a man who have a girlfriend flirts around with woman.
a woman who have a boyfriend flirts around with man.
world shouldn't be like it, it makes me don't dare to fall in love.
a man who have a girlfriend went on bed with other woman.
a woman who have a boyfriend went on bed with other man.
why is life becoming this way?
sometime i do blamed myself why am i not given birth earlier.
now 20 centuries are really scary, there isn't love.
but a lot of cheating love, playful love & puppy love.
sux, it really sux to the super max already.

it's terribly difficult to find someone who completely loves you for the person whom you are.
most of the time, people make ridiculous demands.
they expect you to change the little bits of yourself to cater to their wishes.
what i think is we all deserve that someone, who will love the good.
the bad, the disgusting, the weird bits and pieces of us.
being late all the time, not knowing how to play sports properly.
not having any talent in particular.
that person worth keeping for the rest of your life.

we are all simple beings.

2010-10-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

Those night You cannot sleep?
Well maybe You are awake in someone's dream.

Hello, i'm back for blogging (: bet that yeah no one missed me.
my work is slightly improving, at least i never being scolded by my manager already.
end of this month hopefully im able to confirmed by company & end of year im able to get bonus =X
who don't like $ uh? Haha, anyway i will be taking away my tagbox soon.
since no one even taking effort to tag me, this blog shall be my personal reading dairy :]
everyday work, i'm like so boring uh. Only always looking forward to Sunday.
it's the only day that everyone will see Christine with the best smile.
think of closing this blog, but to me all the past is still as important so i will not ever close it.
lifes have been changing everyday, the people whom are important to me.
im gonna slowly let it go, time will stop everything including the pain im taking right now.

Isn't Love, was only use to be
i don't deny that i think about You all the time.
i knew that You don't, but i still love You so much.
everyone can scold me a fool, a dumb, a hopeless bitch, a worthless slut.
i don't mind, because he is the the one letting me understand what's love.
but soon, im not gonna take it anymore.
i don't like empty promises, i don't like my boy care others more than me.
if i really love him, i should really let him go. Let him find other girl that can make him changed.
he knows what a person am i, his trying to take everything for granted.
why am i so daring to write all this in my blog?
because he never step into my blog anymore, all he knows was facebook & dota.
he totally neglected that i have a blog, all my happiness & unhappiness was here.
if i really love You, i should really let You go this time round.
hopefully i guess when the next time You read this blog, we're no longer together.
and i don't know when is the next time You gonna read my blog anymore.
perhaps years later, perhaps no more next time ;

nothing was beautiful
& everything hurts ;

2010-10-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

When I say I wanted to give up,
I really mean it this time.

I'm a human but not a dog
I'm feeling so super tired to repeat so many complains.
while being with You, i felt so happy than anyone else.
because your silly smiles and act cute face cheers me up for every time i seen it.
but perhaps it's time for me to use to it that You aren't there anymore.
I'm facing family problems, where are You? I text-ed You, You don't even reply me.
I can only cry to sleep, every Sunday we are supposed to meet out.
but You can just bloody dragged the time till like in the late afternoon.
ended up quarrel, I'm like facing all the blames again?
when will all the devil disappear and angel coming into my life?
I'm feeling so damn terrible inside that i rather choose not to live anymore.
no one understands me, really. If one day, i'm really gone. Who would realize it?

Fucking work stressed me up
having family problems, i should love office more than staying at home.
now i was all wrong, i rather stay outside man. Lol.
no work, is the best time i ever had. That's why i'm always looking forward to only Sunday.
the people here sux to the max, attitude problem same as me uh.
but what, sometime things i haven never done before yet they assume i know uh?
keep kaobei kaobu. I will ask them to find people to take over me soon.
I'm finding jobs now, any lobang anyone? Introduce it to me man.
I'm dying soon in this freak company. Why do my life sux more than other people that much?
I'm just sibei suay, lol. Down in family, down in relationship and guess next coming up is friendship.
and soon I'm going off down inside the coffin.

sometime i think about the past
and i fall apart inside ;

2010-10-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Loving a person is easy.
Wanted to forget a person, it can rips You apart.

Lame Excuses

forget, never see?
all this reason none other than him, no one will give already.
I'm just simply tolerating it very hard. Don't really test my patience.
i have tolerating for so long, i believe everyone have limited lines.
don't cross it too much, if not i really will turn everything at once.
I'm not joking, just telling myself not to be a stupid idiotic fool anymore.
forget, haha this word sux to the super max.
no one would give me such an reason other than You!
i didn't mention anything, it doesn't mean that i can believe your lies.
for the next time if i cannot take it anymore, i will treat You back how You treated me.
You really deserve that very much.

Love
love is when You give someone the power to break your heart,
but trust them not to. People that are meant to be together
always find their way to the end.
the hardest part of a break-up is accepting it's over.
i have done my best part for loving my boyfriend.
but he don't simply give me a damn.
he would concern other people more than me.
who's his girlfriend? He might not care and bother anymore.
since the day i started to be with him, it's just all for real.
if i was given a chance, i will still choose You. And never ever mention a word break at all.
and we wouldn't be in this state now, am i right? It's all fated anyway.

if it's fated to end,
promise me don't let me ever
met You again, it do really hurts ;

2010-10-08T12:18:00.000-07:00

Fuck Yes!
Today is a Friday :D

Thanks god! It's finally a friday (:
it means tomorrow and sunday is freedom day! Lol.
this few days, i have really been thinking a lot. Whether what to do, or what should i do.
till now my problem haven yet solve, because i just don't know what to do.
if people are treated hot and cold in times, what will your guys do?
to me, i hate this kind of feeling as in I'm not a toy or wad. I'm also a human with blood!
i don't really need to see people's face to pass my each day.
trust, i given to You. Ended up what did You do? Broke promises single day.
if one day i really mention, i finally given up after years. It means i feel hopeless already ;

If you really knew me
if You really knew me, You had realize I'm not the girl i was before.
i have been hurt, walked all over, used and rejected.
i still have hope for new relationships but if You really knew me,
You will know I'm scared to death of falling in love again.
I'm scared to death of getting hurt, I'm scared to death of being attached and throw to the side.
please don't do that to me if You really knew me, You had know i trust You.

Joke of the day
dear boss, You know i want to resign?
since i worked for You, i have no time to blog anymore.
when i don't have time to blog anymore, my readers hate me.
when my readers hate me they don't visit my blog anymore.
when they don't visit my blog anymore, my hits drop.
when my hits drop, i become unhappy.
when i become unhappy, i will eat a lot.
when i eat a lot, i will get fat.
when i get fat, it will affect your company's image
when your company's image is affected, your business no good.
when your business no good, You become unhappy.
when you become unhappy, you eat a lot.
when you eat a lot, I'm afraid You will become fat, like me.
You see, Boss. I did everything for your own good.
because i care for You.
so the conclusion is, i want to resign. Please let me go la.

7th month anniversary today.
You don't remember all this date but i always do.

2010-09-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

The love is never enough
for me to Love You.

i am back for blogging, this will be my last post before departing Singapore.
3 more days and i am going to depart from Singapore le (:
excited and of course afraid too uh, scare couldnt come back also =x Lol.
because no matter what other countries not as safe as Singapore uh.
i'm like poke to hell already ): hard earn money fly with wings already!
after i come back Singapore, gonna reformat my computer and so.
money earn hard, spend super duper easy uh ! What the hell xD.
nevermind, after this trip and come back it's time for me to save money liao!

Do you still ever love me?
leaving Singapore already, yet You have time You wouldn't give me a call.
have time You rather login into facebook, comment this person and that person.
am i so easy to be neglected? And You will comment my post, or like.
now it's no longer me but other woman (; if that's the way huh. I'll let You be.
my heart is really numb this time, alright i rather don't talk so much already.
i'm going home now! In office currently, goodbye people.
Lol, my blog machiam rottening. No one come in also, LOL! -.-

no guy is worth your tears &
the one who is won't make You cry.

2010-09-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

The way You took me for granted
hurt me more than I ever hurt You.

Love that kills.

sometimes i feel like it's not worth it because i hate having to miss You.
i hate having to deal with everything I love about You everyday and not able to be with You.
i hate it all. Sometimes i hate Loving You. If only You understood how much You have dug
yourself into my heart. I'm scared if I take You out, i might bleed to death.
do anyone know the most surprising thing about heartache? It doesn't actually kill You.
like a bullet to the heart, or a head-on car wreck, it should.
when someone promised to cherish forever says, "i never loved You" it should kill You instantly.
you shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that,
trying to understand how in the world You didn't know.
when i tell You i love You i mean that You can make my heart ache in places deep inside my heart
and at the same time make it sing more beautifully that can be described.
i mean that You can give me life or take it away from me.
You are my complete happiness.

Stressing
work have really stressed me super up, I'm gonna fired soon.
who don't make mistake? You mean You didn't uh? My foot, my toe.
i don't believe You don't make mistake in your life before, are You that perfect?
i doubt so, scold me, kan me, wtf. I came to work is because of money not being scold by You.
when I'm so stressed up who can i find? The one i cherish, stop texting with me half way.
everything i want it to be in this way, it doesn't, Always goes another way round.
I'm a human, not a toy, not a tissue. Used and thrown it away -.-
be strong now, because things will get better. It maybe stormy now, but it can't rain forever.
every now and then i get a little tired of listening to the sound of my tears.

if You want something You've never had
then You've got to do something You've never done.

2010-09-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

In dreams and in love,
there are no impossibilities.

watching movie to pass my time, doing boring things to let my time pass.
doing whatever things that can make my time pass faster, till now im still so bored! LOL.
im looking so forward to night club (: drink drank drunk! Sing sang sung.
night life looked so damn cool huh. Gonna shout and let all my troubles out.
i'm so stressed up recently, or i know time left isn't much.
i do whatever things that make myself laugh, i love selling basket.
but no one is selling with me, tsk. I might sound lame lahs, but i love being lame.
lame suits me so much huh, as i love to eat lame chop! lol, nonsense came out from me only.
looking forward to later activities, hope it shall be a successful one!
now a days, have been listening to English song. Kinda fall in love with it, so yeah (:
i might become a English educated soon haha! im working now, & im like so damn bored.
have finished everything, neither am i facebook-ing, listening to song, chatting in msn,
watch movie or updating blog over here. Im waiting time to strike 6pm & i can go off!
bored bored bored bored bored bored !

Faded away
ever since the day before, we quarrel. Everything changed.
3rd day You are not calling me baby already, perhaps You didn't realize it at all.
i called You, i texted You. Everything was like super cold.
so yeah we just meet up with each other 4 days ago which is a Sunday.
if your feeling fade so fast uh, i have nothing to say.
because i know You are not the same past You anymore.
whatever You do, i endure, i tolerate. Not only You are the one tolerating me.
i give in even though i don't feel like, because of this relationship. I sacrifice my own pride.
i took the first step to mention sorry or wad, did You fucking give a damn to me?
im like an idiot don't You think so? Although i really wish to grow old with You.
now, my mind set changed. Since You no longer care, love, bother about me.
why should i really love, care, bother about You so much? all are just simply selfish acts.
i love You, i like You. But love should be both loving each other.
but now it seems like IM ONLY THE ONE loving You, i don't feel or sense anything anymore.
months that You last came into my blog, wad are You busying with?
facebook, games & work. I just need You to give me a few min attention.
just wanna see if You still remember me, all along my heart never changed.
but You know it hurt so much that i can't take it longer.

who would give a law to lovers?
love is unto itself a higher law ;

2010-09-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

The hearts has its reasons of
which reason knows nothing.

Teach me what to do
i really fall in love, throughout so many relationship.
i cherish the current one the most, every action he did to me it's a word cute.
although yeah i did give him fucking attitude, i know he cannot tolerate.
but still he endure with me, example. when we are watching movie.
he brought cup corn for me, I'm so like angry with him. He will feed me with it.
although he did scold me bad words, i don't really care so much.
but seriously he changed a lot, he can treat me hot and cold as he like.
i accepted, everything about him i accepted. I don't mind whatever bad points of him.
that was love i suppose? This love finally let me know what's painful.
sometime even though is his fault, i said sorry for the sake of saying and to give in
if not we would really finish half way throughout the whole journey.
i still really cherish and love him tons, but if his love isn't there. I shall bid goodbye.
time left isn't much, counting down.

to love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart,
and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.
man begins by loving love and ends by loving a woman.
a woman begins by loving a man and ends by loving love.
we always deceive ourself twice about the people we love,
first to their advantages, then to their disadvantages.

at the touch of love,
everyone becomes a poet ;

2010-09-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

Love is the flower for
which love is the honey.

BACK! (: gonna take my house stupid laptop for reformat liao, die for like 3 days already.
my Iphone 4 sux to the max eh. wondering whether to sell away anot, so irritating!
aww, im so bored bored bored now! Although im like working currently.
im gonna dismiss from work already, tummy was rumbling!
gonna have one pot of rice later, lol. Im a whale! that's my appetite =X
texting with boyfriend, & facebook-ing with dar. But they seems to be so noob!
replied so slow eh, tsk ! Im going to watch movie first before daddy coming to fetch me.
boyfriend & dar sux to the max !

what is my baby doing now?
overslept, preparing for work?
sleeping in mrt?
or playing facebook game in mrt?
hmm, miss him so so much. but where are You? ):
better dont late for work, or else. I'll be supporting You rather than You taking care of me =X
wanna see my baby so so much! and love my baby so so much too.
alright, im enough of my nonsense.
wanna hear from baby soon Muacks ~

Love is letting go of fear ;

2010-09-13T17:53:00.000-07:00

Live without love is like a tree
without blossom and fruit.

im back blogging, reason was my laptop passed away -.-
currently updating blog using office's computer.
alright, life was like still normal. Everyday work hard like a dog all because of $$$
brought myself a Iphone 4, somehow abit regret as in. Not much special.
moreover i don't even know how to use eh, is it stupid or dumb? Lol.
i think most likely should be two (: But nevermind, all along i was like a noob. Haha!
wanna thanks my dearest baby for help. Putting Iphone stuff for me Lahs.
i know he don't view my blog anymore. But just wanna thanks him here.
im gonna blog other days soon, because it's time now for me to go home!

Boys become men when they
1. follow You when You walk out ( tick )
2. call you back when You hang up ( cross x )
3. hug You when You pinch him ( tick )
4. kiss You when You nag ( tick )
5. tolerate your crying over love stories ( tick )
over all baby still pass the test, but i want him to say he love me everyday,
even if it's only text. Because he would do that every time in the past.

it's better to have love and lost than
never to have loved at all ;

2010-09-04T11:36:00.000-07:00

Boy i miss you so.

do You know that when a boy breaks a girl's heart,
it's much, much, much more than You know it affected her.
that her tears are not only to show how much it hurts but to at least
try to blur out the world so she can forget? That she thinks every sleeping
and walking moment what the hell did she did wrong?
that when she look at the photo of You and her, she tries to tear it
but can't because they're very beautiful memories to keep.
that she can't throw away the big beautiful tortoise because You gave it to her.
then whenever she thinks of the word ' i love You' words You told her,
she mutters ' i love You too' but realizes she can't say it anymore?
that it's like the whole world tumbling before her very eyes.
You don't know how it feels to be cheated, to be left, to be fooled.
and its taken very seriously because once a girl loves, a girl really loves.

i always feel i'm losing You and i really don't want to,
because for the last month You were the only one who made me smile,
i don't wanna lose this feeling. You know i have found someone special
and irreplaceable when i feel an aching gap in my heart when You walk away.
i have learnt that i can't help for who i have fall for,
and no matter how hard i try and how much its hurts me,
everyday i just want to be with You, & this is what keeps me going my love ;

often we don't know the true value
of a moment until it becomes a memory.

2010-08-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

Be strong in who You are ;

In life, it seems that i need to face the pain ahead.
bones & brain, i fucking hate You! Stop giving me problem.
i need a rest please! Don't ache anymore, im really tired.

if by taking me away,
the pain will be gone.
You may.

2010-08-26T22:50:00.000-07:00

You'll always be my favourite ;

it should be our one year eleven month today, but now we're just five month.
it means we still have years or so to walk on, this path is getting even harder.
you once say, im not auto at all. Now i do hold your hand myself, call your randomly.
text You randomly. I did, i changed. Yeah my temper & attitude didnt changed i know.
at least it's better than last time i supposed. Hard touch hard wouldn't solve.
sometime i would be the one giving in, because i do cherish this tough relationship.
no matter how tough is it, how hard to walk. I will still choose to walk it, because i love You.
the photo ontop, it should be during our secondary two life, outside my stairs.
that hand that fit my hand, and that hand was tight enough for me to hold on.
just wanting to say that i do love You & well You know it well too.
but if things are really uncontrollable, it's better to let go.
but, You'll never be replaced. You left scar on my hands & legs huh. Thanks to You.

as for those friend whom i have drifted with, im still gonna love your like last time.
miss your like last time, my darling once say. Once a friend always a friend right?
i will never forget all of your, all are just important like my life (:
gonna love your with my whole heartly, it might seems quite lame but well
your will still be remembered well hard in my heart and mind.

with a person whom doesn't love You,
that's not love but force ;

2010-08-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

What's wrong with Love?

letting You go even if it hurts, doesn't mean You have to let go everything.
You just have to let go of the person and your feeling for the person
but the memories will always be there whether it's good or bad.
because everytime You remember those memories, it will put a smile into your heart.
and be glad that once in your life this person made You happy and
put colors into your life even if it's just for a while.

baby sandwich You know wad? I feel like writing everything out from my heart.
i used to be flirt but i changed, i used to be very bossy but i changed.
why did i changed? because i don't want to have the feeling of losing You anymore.
i called You, You didnt answer my call or never call back.
i texted You, your reason was always the same never see.
did i mention that if that's the way we don't contact for days?
after seeing this text, i was outside crying like nobody business.
im not a crybaby, i cried so much so hard just because im hurt by your words.
You do so many things that i hate, did i forgive You automatic?
did i ask for more? I just need little more concern, & Love.
i don't need too much, im just a very simple girl which needed a simple Love.
i thought we would never parted with each other again, never ever.
how much i cherish, how much i love You i think You know more than anyone else;
after so many things happened, i still choose to be with You. why?
just wanna let You know, if You wanna go. I won't hold back anymore.
how many time i hold back? No matter how many time i pull You back, You'll still go.

memories will stay, this is my blog link's name.
i do hope memories don't stay.
because i won't be able to take it, & it's a big blow for me.
i just wanna a simple life will do, please god.
grant my wish.

years to build.
yet seconds to shatter.

2010-08-16T23:19:00.000-07:00

Fuck You,
Sorry doesn't make up for anything ;

here are the twenty things i give myself permission for :
1. i give myself permission to rest
2. i give myself permission to laugh
3. i give myself permission to play
4. i give myself permission to make mistake
5. i give myself permission to say 'no' to demands on my time that are simply draining
6. i give myself permission to say 'yes' to what i want
7. i give myself permission to fulfill my lifelong dreams
8. i give myself permission to ask for what i want
9. i give myself permission to be who i am
10. i give myself permission to try again
11. i give myself permission to have fun
12. i give myself permission to design my own life
13. i give myself permission to love my baby
14. i give myself permission to stay focused on on what's important to me
15. i give myself permission to be whatever bodyshape i like
16. i give myself permission to be imperfect
17. i give myself permission to ask for help
18. i give myself permission to stop caring what others think of me
19. i give myself permission to write a lousy first draft
20. i give myself permission to create

loving you xu jianwei doesn't made me regret,
by leaving you made me regret the most.
i let go of a man who loved me deeply in the past,
and i no longer can find him back; but no matter what it is.
i will still love him like what i do in the past, pamper him like what i do.
cherish & treasure him like what i did, i might show attitude or temper to You.
it shows that how much i love and how much i care for You.
i wanna be the one to be there for You all the time, even if the world is turning upside down.
my love for You will never change but will be even deeper when each day passed.
i love You for who You are, but not loving You who You are not ;

sometimes You need a second chance,
because time wasn't ready for the first time.
if You look inside a girl's heart and see how much she cries.
You'll find secrets, promises and lies.
but what You'll see most is how hard she tries to stay strong.
when nothing is right and everything's wrong.
if i could turn back time, if i could find a way.
i had take back those words that hurt You, and You had stay.

do what makes You happy,
be with who makes You smile
laugh as much as You breathe
and love as long as You live.

2010-08-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

Let's forget all the past &
keep walking on ;

Oh alright, im here to update again. Hello my dearest blog :]
i won't be updating any pictures today because im lazy! It's a good reason huh.
gonna thanks babe for that beautiful necklance, i loved it super lots. Im serious;
this few days i've been thinking a lot a lot, i knew it's no longer able to go back.
i promise i'll let You have your way, do everything You like & want.
because im forever nothing anymore. I really do cherish, but You didnt.
alright. Don't wanna say those things to ruin my mood into super moody.

Suddenly think back, i missed the time that boyfriend always come to find me & play.
when we are seconday 1, imagine using stick to poke those poor worms.
use slippers to collect rainwater and play at the playgroud, fold paper boats &
place it in the drain full of water :] how childish & how lames we are?
i wish to go back, i wish to go back to the time that we won't quarrel, won't betray.
i wanna go back to our innocent us, simple mind. rather than now, it seems to be so complicated.
wanted to know what are You doing, is your life getting better? or wad.
but i knew never gonna go back to the past, let's move on together.

sometime i just wondered, just because all of us not studying together anymore & that drifted us?
in the past, we have so many girls surrounded. Example; where's meiling? where's evon?
where's jastine? where's cynthia? where's jubellina? where's pearlyn? where's shanting?
where leelim? & lastly where's my boyfriend? we used to have such a big group gathering.
steamboat in chinatown, enjoyed those lame jokes. Those crazy us, omgg.
i just hope god would fulfill my wish by bringing me back to see them.
they all have changed, i admit i changed too. Everyone changed, & im not gonna bother anymore.

what a shame,
we all became such fragile broken things;

2010-08-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

When is the best time to tell someone
You love him?
Answer: Before someone else does.

I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heaven burst and the words don't rhyme.
i know when i die, You'll be in my mind. And i'll love You always ;
basically, i wish that You loved me. i wish that You needed me.
i wish that without me You'd been spending the rest of your nights awake.
i wish that without me You couldn't eat, i wish i was the last thing
on your mind before You went to sleep.

i miss texting You everyday, how close we were. Something changed,
and it scares me that we won't be able to go back to what we were.
i just want You to hold me in your arms, and tell me that everything will be okay,
and that You love me, because i miss You so much that it hurts.

i believe that everything happens for a reason.
people change so that You can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that You can appreciate them when they're right,
believe less so You eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
trust takes years to build, yet seconds to shatter.
Baby 是你变了吗?

Life is a bitch,
so learn to fuck it.

2010-08-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

Even if the world is going to fall,
I'm still going to hold on tight to your hand.

throughout the 5 years, my first time received such a unforgettable message.
would You remember who i am? would You remember anything about the first
day we met 5 years from now? Would You remember me if i passed You on the street?
would You remember just how much i ever Love You?
You'll be my sandwich baby till ever, i believed no one is gonna take over your place.

i'll never forgive,
if history gonna repeat ;

2010-08-05T22:47:00.000-07:00

Telling myself, if You really wanna cherish.
You' will.

National Museum :]
Thanks for accompany me.

the best moment was when i am with You.
the saddest moment was when i couldn't see You.

i don't see the love.
that was like the past.

2010-07-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Enough is really enough.
My patient of limit reached.

5 years of dumbness, 5 years of idiot, 5 years of stupid-ness. it's really enough.
whatever i done to You in the past, You returned me 5 times.
You are not enough, your lies, your whatever. Did i forgive You?
today is the last second day of July, it's enough for me to let go.
like what i said, no point holding on to a person which heart is not there.
i decided to change, by continue blogging :] well, this is my blog.
no readers coming in im still fine with it. I'll continue to blog as i wish.
my dumbness limit have finally really up, saying goodbye. Im serious this time.

no matter how much i cherish.
You wouldnt give me a chance to do so.

2010-07-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

There is nothing i can do
To stop the hatred from coming.

at this age, everything is changing. Day by day we don't notice,
but just look back over the past year and You will realize everything has.
people You thought were going to be there forever they aren't.
and people You never imagined You had been speaking to are now some
of your closest friends. Life makes the little sense, and the more we grow
the less it make. So make the most of now, before it all changes once again,
because in the near future, all of this is only going to be memories.
those people used to be with me all went missing, i swear.
the one who said willing to be my listeners, ended up didnt reply my text.
the one who said gonna be 24/7 with me went missing with another people.
the one who said anything i can look for her, went mia with the one who went missing too.
while the one who hate me the most became much more better with me.
what makes everything changed? Is the people surrounding caused it.
i use my finger to cross my heart that i will let all of your go.

no matter how many plans we make or steps we follow,
we never know how our day's going to end up.
we prefer to know, of course, what curveball will be thrown our way;
but it's the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting
parts of our days, of life.

Life isn't about how many people call You and it's not about who you've
dated, are dating, or haven date at all. it's not about grades, money, clothes
or colleges that accept You or not. Life isn't about if You have lots of friends,
or if You are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted You are.
Life just isn't about that, but life is about who You love, who You hurt.
it's about how You feel about yourself, it's about trust, happiness & compassion.
life is about avoiding jealously, overcoming ignorance, & building confidence.
most of all, it's about living your life to touch someone's else.

it's a lot to admit than im mad,
than to admit that im hurt & disappointed.
it should be 1 year 10 months today ;

2010-07-25T22:47:00.000-07:00

You will never know how strong You are
Until being strong is the only choice You have.

Many many days have passed, i never thought things will ended up in this way.
how much im fighting back for it, how much tears did i drop to hold back.
how much can i still do to search back our past? We're no longer there.
You are much more closer with someone else, i'll let the person to take over me.
i declared i really given up, the pain is numb now & i'll let it be forever.

waiting is easy. You know what's hard?
realizing that the one You are waiting for is not coming back anymore.
when im older, and my child asks me who is my true love was,
i don't want to take out an old photo album. I want to be able to point
across the room and say ' He's right over there'.

love is handing someone a gun
and letting it point to your head,
believing that he won't pull the trigger.

2010-07-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

Everytime i see You, there's something about You
That makes me want to kiss You. Something about You
That makes me want to just hold on You tight,
And never ever let go.

i miss texting You everyday, how close we were. Something changed,
and it scares me that we won't be able to go back to what we were.
i just want You to hold me in your arms, and tell me that everything will be okay.
and that You love me because i miss You so much that it hurts.
i don't like to hear words come out from your mouth like this girl pretty, not bad.
i don't like You to sweet talk with any girls, that really double stabbing into me.
i don't like everything but i couldn't control it. Letting the pain to be continued.
anyway living in this world is to live for ourself, but not others.

just hope You will give me more attention, share my burden, listen to me.
lend me your shoulder when my mood was really very low.
all i left was just You but no more others, without You life was really meaningless.
although things weren't the same anymore but i still hope things won't change even worse.
the truth is if i could be with anyone, it had still be You. I've no regrets.

see if your boyfriend is good ;
1) If he had a car, he will personally open the car door for You.
2) during bus, if left only one sit. He'll ask You to sit down.
3) if bus there's a lot of sit, he shall give You the privilege to sit first.
4) while in mrt, as a gentleman guy should allow girl to sit if there's a space.
5) while having lunch/dinner in hawker centre, will he help You buy food?
6) will he send You home after the whole day dating?

let me be the one calls You baby all the time.
surely You can take some comfort knowing that You're mine.
last min edit - it's time for me to say goodbye to You, i hate people flirting behind me - 10.51pm.

2010-07-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Just because You know my name
Doesn't mean You know my game ;

Happy birthday to my dearest Father Ytd, i love him tons :]
went Sakura for dinner. My treat to whole family, precious dad is very happy.
seeing family member happy and that really ease my heart the most.
this few days i have been thinking whether to let go or to hold back.
my mind have given me the answer, im gonna follow my own thinking.
now a days Christine take things very lightly already because and why?
because she is really very very very tired this time, it's more than my own limit already.
im gonna let go everything and free myself in the air ; therefore life will be better.
had my checkup today, wow wow the x-ray clothes i love the most :X
so sexy one, hahaa. Imagine i went checkup alone & how frighten i am? No one knows.
mum said im very brave, so yeah thanks. Show them that i can be very independent on my own.
don't want them to worry about me anymore, i can and i have matured Kays!
i live in this world for like 17 years, & it's the first time i went to see doctor on my own.
wow, i feel very happy although im alone uh (: had Japanese food for dinner again.
outing with bestie today, isn't really very enjoying maybe because of the boring place we went.
had my fringe cut, one word to describe ; terrible -'-

how much i feel like hugging You now, how much i feel like kissing on your lips.
how much i feel like seeing You now, how much i feel like holding onto your hands.
how much i miss You now, how much i feel like watching You making cute faces.
how much i want to see You acting cute infront of me and made me wanna sayang You.
how much i wanna see You smiling with your handsome face.
no matter how much i feel, i want and i miss, currently im unable to see it.
i wanna be the girl who makes your bad days better, the one that makes You say ;
' my life have changed since i met You ' & i wanna be the girl that will always be there for You.

i love it when i hear the lyrics
that totally apply to my current situation.

2010-07-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

If im the only girl that You see,
You wouldn't take a look at other girls.

isn't this tattoo a pretty and cute one :] I kinda love it, but im not gonna have myself tattoo.
im just so gonna view and peep and see. It's kinda omggomgg, i love it yeah.
geisha rocks! But only cartoon one rocks more :X Cause i simply love cute things.
alright, life is getting dontknow more meaningful or more meaningless.
just hope gonna earn moremore money and fly to taiwan soon.
back with bags and bags of things in my hand, in my bags.
so gonna work hard and don't give up half way. Because family needs me (:
im off to bed soon, short post for today. Im kinda tired and sick of something.

don't fucking do things behind me
that will made me kill You :]
i mean what i said, it do hurt.

2010-07-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities ;

im back! Currently having lunch, mum's fried rice and added love inside :X
Gonna continue work after my lunch ): someone complained that im fierce, not friendly.
lol. so what if i smile to everyone? i hate smiling to those who don't return smile.
it makes me feel like im smiling to the air and look so damn retarded.
it's okay like how You wanna see me as, it's my own life i won't bother how You look at me.
to me You aren't friendly too anyway lahhs.

As for some jerks, You promised to takecare of him for me.
ended up You are one of them who disturbed him, i shouldn't have trust You from the start.
let me make this clear, if You are getting more and more over.
i won't let You off and i fucking mean it, i won't let You disturb him because
You are nothing to him and me :] I will never trust You again, and oh yeah.
from the start i never believe single words that You said, don't be so naive and dua pao.
You are the one being that fucking bloody fool that makes You think that i believed You.
stupid fucking dumb idiotic fellow, bloody hell. Make my blood boil only.
i won't let You disturb him because his my precious and everything, i dare You again.
sorry readers for the rough post. Just couldn't take it but to vent out (:

come live inside my heart
no pay & no rent.

2010-07-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

Trying to get my life back on track.

love this shirt and it's very expensive :]
im not gonna bother to those who don't give a damn to bother.
i wouldnt waste my time thinking so much from now on.
after hearing so much about friendship, i was totally very numb now.
just wanna have a simple and peaceful life and that's it.
people sure have ups and downs, people come and go.
it isn't very special or what so ever anymore. My life, i will love and cherish it.
gonna change a new Christine real soon. A one that will be remembered hard by people.

friendship is looking inside your heart,
not to find a face or a name, the feeling that comes with it
the feeling of being truly accepted and love,
both on the outside and inside.
it is an invisible bond that cannot be broken no matter how many hits it takes,
it's like a scraped knee, it drys, scabs, flakes and heals,
and becomes stronger. Leaving only a scar - a memory.
memories that we look upon and laugh about.

anything will give up its secrets if You love it enough.
not only have i found that when i talk to the little flower
or to the peanut they will give up their secrets,
but i have found that when i silently commune with people
they give up their secrets also. If You love them enough.

2010-07-08T20:32:00.000-07:00

No matter how much i try,
It's never enough to You.

♥ Happy 4th Month Anniversary.
3th March 2010.

we knew each other for more than 5 years, how many ups and downs did we go through?
after this 5 years. Whatever i did, it never touches You at all.
i realised it really never. Freedom is all You want, your friends are getting more.
while my friend is getting even lesser. Just return a wishing it seems to be so hard?
less than 5 min You couldn't even spare for me, if that's the case.
i really see no point anymore. as You wish and as You like.
this time i leave, i will never ever turn my head back again.
just a very typical person. Life's ahead perhaps will be a better one.

if there's the end of the story after 5 years?
i hope You will exchange me for another friend.

2010-07-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

After all, what was more important, in the end, than love?

someone said im stupid and i admit that i am.
stop scolding me stupid, i know i am.
but can You just show me some respect, because You are directly shooting my parents
for giving birth a stupid girl like me and anyway thanks for your comments.
im all along stupid, it's not too late for You to know yeah.
and for your information im a human but not a dog, thanks.

a very small degree of hope is sufficient
to cause the birth of love.

2010-07-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

I promise to Love You forever,
Every single day of forever.

Hellooooo readers ]: Perhaps your are wondering why did i put a sad face Yeah?
because since one month ago i never really understand what's laughter all about.
1 week, only one day i will be laughing. Rest of the 6 days i guess im all along lonely.
what is friends for? Think back the past, friends i needed 10 fingers to count.
now less than 5 fingers i can simply count how many friends i have left.
everyday having headache, while having headache im thinking of so many things.
im just simply very fucking stressup, looking forward for next friday pub.
gonna drink drank drunk and forget whatever things, perhaps its just one day of forgetting
i will still choose to have it, rather than 12 hours thinking of so many things.
i was fucking just so stress up but who was there for me, hahaha there's no one.
all busy doing own things, who can i turn to? Yeah it's only myself.

yesterday my fucking bone is aching again, mum was beside me helping me to rub.
thanks mummy, always my bones pain. You will be there to apply medical oil on me.
no matter You are very tired anot, You will never fail to standby me.
bone ache till im unable to sleep, due to i was really very very tired.
although it hurts i still force myself to sleep because i still have work today.
and yeah, i was lost on my way to work -.- walked like 2.4km couldnt find my work place.
called daddy for help, daddy chiong out from office just to bring me back to work.
thanks daddy, if not my leg is really gonna broke down immediately already.
actually i didnt lost my way is that i walked too much over my office, it's super over!
work was not very fine one, i couldnt understand and very hard to communicate with
my colleague. Our language doesn't match at all, one duck one chicken.
had one bun for lunch, head was really bursting and very stress about work and other private things.

All the pain im going through who really understand it?
when im feeling very low, how much i need You by my side.
either You are busy with your things or hackcare.
in the past You say i wasn't auto at all and full of alot of things.
i changed. I changed to become more auto so that we would then last.
things don't change, i trust You i really do. Even i knew or saw anything
i still forgive You, why? You can simply ask yourself this question.
3 words to describe it because [ i love You ] It's just simple as that.
i texted, i called, i do everything what i can do.
sometime no reply, no answer. I was waiting for You to tag my blog.
but You didn't. But You tag others, i won't angry. Erm, yeah this is part of life bah.
due to something i gtg now, i seldom write so long already so yeah :]
im tearing for the moment, goodnight guys., Fattywhale love everyone!

how i wish everything
always turn out the way i want ;

2010-07-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

You are my life.
You're the only thing it would hurt to lose.

now a days life was much much different.
seldom saw my friends, somehow not even one.
seldom contact with them too, only sometime we does.
while my baby he doesn't even bother to find me.
all he does is maple, facebook and work.
im totally transparent in life, what the hack.
as for me everyday same routine, work, eat, tv, com and sleep.
sometime i just need someone to give me a little attention and im happy le.
but none, baby sometime i just need You to be with me.
some text also will do, i don't mind You mapling or what.
at least show me some concern will You? Life's seriously sux!

wanna thanks parents for buying me one high heels and one cover shoes.
wanted to buy dress for work too, but ended up couldn't find any.
it's either im too fat or im too short. Oh please, can i get rid some of my fats?
im so extremely fat like hell :] hopeless Christine! Eat more, eat more.
gonna go onto diet soon. If no diet, no pretty dress, no pretty figure ):
erm oh yeah can god make me grow abit taller will do? Im like really so short -.-
pull me up, stretch me! Lol. I knew its just impossible huh.

if life with You was hurtful
i will still choose You,
because i really do Love You.
but You just never know how hurtful am i.

2010-06-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

Flooded with tears ;

Thanks my colleagues for the Pizza treat :] i love them, and i really do.
left the company with tears. Hugged some of them, i dont bear to leave ):
thanks them for the care and fun they once gave, i will sure visit them soon.
i missed so many people. Without their voice, it seems Like so much different.
guys there, i want your to take good care dont stress up for work.
relax and let it be in its way. So all my dearest friend, see Your soon.

this few days things isnt going on the right track, so i was like erm letting go everything.
actually i do mind a lot of things and i just told You its okay or nevermind.
You dont even bother how i feel and how sad am i, You simply dont.
walk out is the best way, hackcare is the best solution to hide from everything.
goodbye to those whom are leaving or to those who i leaving.
i wanna go to national museum, it seems to be veh nice. Who is willing to go with me?

might be emo
but isnt as emo as what You think ;

2010-06-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

If it's time to say goodbye just let it go.

This is the computer im using in office :] After afking for like 10 min.
the computer will appear this photo, watch dog! So damn cute.
and the lolipop up there is Hui Zhen bought for me de (:
thanks to her, and that bad Hway Hou promise to buy for me end up he lied!
but nevermind. I taste it already, thanks to Hui Zhen!
work was like veh boring the whole computer system was down for like from 1 to 5pm.
was walking around freedomly and and my crazy manager asked me to wear mask.
just because i have flu -.- she's like sibei kiasu. Alright, but it's okay because i hate her.
having fucking bad headache now. Im going off now to rest, takecare readers.

bad point there's a lot.
good point there's only a few.

2010-06-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

If Love was true, there should be hurt.

i love this hamster, i feel like buying it right now but provider if mum allow.
which i know is impossible for mum to agree with it ): sigh.
im gonna cook this hamster into curry chicken :] im joking, lol. I won't bear.
alright i hate today's rain -.- i swear. my place there was like flooed.
when i walked the water was sure above my ankle, my shoes was totally wet -'-
yeah thanks to the rain, my long pants, clothes, jacket, bag was all wet.
more cruel stuff, i was forced to stay in a air con room straight after i was drenched.
oh my hell god, i cannot imagine there are so many cruel people.
i thought my beloved will be texting with me, after his work he was left missing in action again.
yeah thanks to everyone, i dont wanna blog for today already. I hate today alots x thousand.

dearest beloved, i bitchy missing You alot. Really alot.
where are You currently, missing in action? Or busy doing what thing?
i feel like seeing You right now, feel like holding your hand right now.
feel like lying on your shoulder, feel like looking at your moley face.
but where are You? dearest, You ruined my mood. You really did.

super girl, stupid life.
random girl, random post.

2010-06-24T19:14:00.000-07:00

There's no good story without romance ;

work was like fucking bored, i swear.
time is passing so slow. It took years to reach 5pm -'-

when is the day to bid goodbye.
when the world is ending.

2010-06-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

Love can make You do things
that You never thought possible ;

Happy 17th Birthday to Leelim dar :]
&
Happy 17th Birthday to Jubellina slut :]

currently mood was rather shag i just dont know why, or maybe i too miss someone le.
yesterday somehow we managed to clear something but i do hope what we said
about each other would change soon. In Christine's heart You are still as important.
just wanna love You as much as Long as i can, life is precious. Time is precious.
i dont wanna waste all this year while being with You, i want to hold your hand tight
and continue walking our path till our hair become really white.
by that time if we can still holding onto each other, then my life is really veh worth walking.
please dont let history happen again, down deep inside there's a scar that wasn't heal yet.
gonna random send You a text soon depends when bah :]

if You ask me next generations what i want You to be, i rather choose You as my husband.
not only a lover. Lover it means only together, is that what You only want in your heart?
if that so, i wont change the facts. Just wanna let You know, why will i Jealous or whatever.
You should know it too, because i really care. Hope, it does let You change.
was terribly sick now, needs bed to accompany me. Got to go peeps.

we can never really love anybody
with whom we never laugh.

2010-06-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.

Happy 17th birthday to my dearest :]

meet boyfriend and dar, trained down to City Hall and meet baby there.
a lot stupid things happened. Like in a chaos, baby went to bring hanhui over to meet us.
things back to normal, had our dinner at marina square. Steamboat.
but the steamboat i swear its so terrible :] although steamboat isnt nice.
but everyone crap with each other, i laughed until im veh full. Lol.
and my face confirm 100% red. After that, cut cake outside.
hanhui so bad throw cream at baby and dar. Celebrating dar's advance birthday too.
8plus trained back to Jurong Point, and caught movie ' Karate Kids'
2nd time watching. I still laughed eh, it's so nice! and i love it.
leave Jurong Point like 12plus, baby's father drove all of us home (:

the way you behave,
it still hurts me. I swear ;

2010-06-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

What's the point of making yourself sad?

thanks hui ping for making me laughed like mad woman today :]
only by going to work and hanging out with girlfriends can cheer my day up.
im getting closer with everyone when each day passed but what's the point?
im leaving the company next wednesday already, the moment i think of it.
i feel like staying in the office for like 24 hour to take a good look at them.
leaving the company it seems like i have lost hundreds of friend over there.
just hope that after i left, all of us will still like contact but i know we won't.
just wanna wish them goodluck in whatever they do and takecare of themself.
next wednesday im gonna write out whom i miss and i really care for.

after tomorrow, everything is gonna end end end ~
those promise, those love, those everything is like dream
somehow im like living in my fairytales for few years already.
story keep repeating repeating and repeating yet lesson was not learnt.
having handphone anot it doesnt matter already, it really doesnt ;
so yeah i still heart You alot, but i should like stop it already.

even though i cherish,
it's still meaningless.

2010-06-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Love is a waste of time.

im pretty alive for time being :] soon, i dontknow if i would still stay alive.
but god tells me i will and i have a veh long life and long path to walk on.
i love hanging out with girlfriend, they fool me i trick them.
it's like a never ending laughter. They really made my day, thumbs up for them!
if im still alive, im never gonna see You alive standing infront of me.
and i will never, wanna play this game again as a history. Im okay with this game.
let's play it all over again. I'll sure make You lost your breath.
the day is getting nearer, who is gonna win and lose? Let's see.
alright, readers i shall stop crapping. My post might be short, but is still interesting :X Lol.

one heartbreak is like a thousand lessons.
loving again is being stupid and dumb.
it's time to move on by not looking back to the past,
the time will heal the wound like how You heal it and returned thrice to me.

does feeling still matter everything?
it doesnt ;

2010-06-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.

worked half day for today, veh veh veh boring i swear!
till i went up to my oringinal job admin and that really bright my day :]
evening >> Tang Restaurant for dinner & Orchard after that for shopping.
visited dar and boyfriend while they are working, they are slacking! Bad girls.
home @ 9.40pm, gonna sleep soon uh. My eyes is going to close anytime!
short post for today because i have nothing more to edit :X
got to go have to work for tomorrow morning also! Buhbye readers.

the life and love we create
is the life and love we live.

2010-06-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Love one another and You will be happy,
it's as simple and as difficult as that.

i love my work place.
i love the people there.
i love them and they will stay in my heart till ever :]

the story never stop repeating,
im numb and veh tired about it.

2010-06-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Accept the things which fate binds You,
and love the people with whom fate brings You together
but do so with all your heart.

Christine™ can no longer tolerate those people whom are so gey gao.
even $0.10 also want kaobei, like very beggar Lahs.
and Singapore should be a veh clean place, but guess what.
i was in the bus just now and whereby a uncle sneezed so loudly -.-
and wipe his nose liquid onto his pants, repeated again and again.
i simply got veh annoying, kept turn my head and looked at him. Fucking irritated.
wow i feel like hugging a lot of people now :] esp all of my friends.
gonna meet up with them and hug them tightly, to those who really cherish people around You
have to hug them tightly, in case one day they just die suddenly.
Christine™ have turned matured, she believe things will be over after weeks.

wanna leave a happy life from today onwards, those who not worth me to love
i will ignore and continue my life. Gonna change new environment again
hope like im able to adapt it and continue living without regrets.
this isn't a emo post :] it's like wanna tell myself that i have matured.
the longer i live, the more i realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me
is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the remarkable
thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
we cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
we cannot change anything but the only thing we can change is our own attitude.
i am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how i react to it.

dream as if You will live forever
live as if You will die today.

2010-06-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Love just doesn't sit there,
like a stone
it has to be made like bread
remade all the time, made new.

the photo was like so ugly, thanks to Cynthia uh. Took such a ugly photos of me ):
i loved the cake veh much, but boyfriend smashed all on my face. Bad girl .
work was like getting bored bored bored, but the people there all are getting better.
Kaichin hugged me today, i dont feel like leaving the company. Can i choose to stay?
is it still possible? I hope i can change and stay in that company.
im not getting shy of talking to strangers already, i find it making friends is like so good.
i heart them a lot, really. If time could reverts, i swear i will stay at this company.
time passes veh fast. Another 1 week plus im leaving already, hope time stop there.
i wonder if my planning should continue, seriously i dont like dogs -.-

i dontknow where's your heart uh, even though i do so much can You fucking feel it?
You never! But nevermind, be yourself then. Because the only hope on You is disappearing soon.
hmph, gonna earn many many money. A lot people's birthday coming up, my money fly
to dontknow where soon ): I still owe singtel money.Lol, cut my lines bahs.
want a phone also dontknow for what, everyday listen to song only. Lol.
come on, i miss all my colleagues. What should i do? Im so headache ;

love is missing someone whenever You are apart
but somehow feeling warm inside because You're close in heart.

2010-06-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

which place would You choose if it's your birthday ;
1. New York
2. Swensens
3. Jack's Place
3. Japanese Restaurant
4. Indonesia Restaurant
5. Thai Restaurant

to those who happen to passby my blog, can your leave a tag down to let
me know if You are the one having birthday which place will your choose
for having dinner at? Guys out there help me :]

my work is getting even boring when each day passed.
have nothing to do again, but nevermind im leaving the place soon already.
and im getting veh bored too cannot find anyone to accompany me.
gonna find someone to standby me 24 hour :X but confirm hard to find uh.
work come first than anything else :] hopefully the next Job will be better.
oh yeah i kept yawning while im working today, few hundred times.
gonna believe me, i never got so tired before ; What the hell only.
my head grow a painful bun thanks to someone uh, got free bun. Lol.
im going off to somewhere soon and will be back when its time.
few more weeks im gone :] but if reader miss me, must wait me to be back.

love built on beauty,
soon as beauty, dies.

2010-06-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

Happy 17th birthday to myself :]

meet baby at Jurong Point, wanted to catch Karate Kids but was full already.
end up watched Shrek Forever After 3D instead, not bad :] veh funny.
love the fat fat cat inside, baby bought me a small durian cupcake.
after movie, baby came to my house waited for parents to prepare and headed
Taman Jurong for our dinner, baby looked so shy uh while eating keep eating white rice Lol.
home at 9.40pm, and friends surprised me. Sang birthday song so loud!
my parents also heard it when they are at home. Thanks them veh much (:
i love all my girlfriend, and thanks Lahs smash cake on my face ): so oily.
but still enjoyed with them, slacked and home @ forgotten what time Lahs.
used computer awhile and went to bed already.
thanks to those who text and wished me in facebook :] Your people are loved.

i have start planning what to do for your big day, hope it does touches You.
and it might be the last year already :] so, hmph hope You appreciate it bah.
gonna work hard and earn more money, father birthday coming soon also le.
gonna broke no matter how much i earned in this few months.
Christine gonna buck up no more slacking and resting at home! Gambateh.

letting go will be better for both of us,
since the love is no longer there.

2010-06-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Love is a choice You make from moment to moment ;

went for work with red eyes and my manager wanna me to go home, i kpkb.
then manager allow me to stay till 12pm then home, had a hard time waiting for bus -.-
so many cars passes by dontknow what they are horning, boyfriend called me to ask to find a
accompany down to Orchard for free movie, wanted to find baby and his totally missing.
and managed to find Zhihan in the end. Meet her at Jurong Point, and trained down.
called baby's house kpkb and his coming down to meet us too. Meet Boyfriend, dar and baby
at Orchard, the movie ' The Loser ' is quite funny in some way and i couldnt understand
what are they talking about -.- and dar just laughing non-stop for what they said.
i was full of question mark inside my empty mind, lol. Bitch her :X
after movie, immediately trained down to Queensway at about 9pm plus.
dar had her tongue pierced, hahaa she's like a mute. And now she's finally not odd one out le.
baby went home, we went down to Jurong Point's mac. Bestie treats for fries, not bad that
dar still can take fries, claps for her :] home after that, had dinner at 12am -.- Lol.
it sounds supper rather suit huh, okay and im going off now. Goodnight readers!

how can i forget You when your always on my mind? How can i not want You
when your all i want inside? How can i let You go when i can't see us apart?
how can i not love You when You control my heart? Often times we say goodbye
to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn't mean that we've
stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye
is a painful way to say i love You. One day You will love me, the way i loved You.
one day You will think of me the way i thought of You, one day You will cry for me,
the way i cried for You. One day You will want me, but i won't want You.
sometimes we tend to be despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is,
it's not our loss, it's theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them.
You taught me how to love, You thought me how to laugh, You taught me how to cry.
but when You left, You forgot to teach me how to live without You and how to forget You.
someday i may regret the way we ended, but i will never regret what we had.

why am i so afraid to lose You when You're not even mine.
why am i feel so weird when You get close to any girl?
You made me feel so jealous everytime.

2010-06-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

It is better to be hated for who You are than
to be loved for what You are not ;

Happy 3rd month anniversary to baby and I :]

baby texted me exactly 12am wishing me 3rd month anniversary (:
so sweet of him and i was sleeping at that time, im gonna type out what he messaged me.
he said ; ' Happy 3rd month anniversary baby :) we have gone through so long.
hope we can last this time. And sorry that i could not give You a good birthday celebration
because your baby dont have much money ): but i promise i will give You a super super good
one next year. Lastly, happy 3rd month :) love You alot, muacks. And i never forget wor ^^
sleep early, love. '

I'm veh happy to receive this message from baby, it surprised me that he still remembered.
yeah hopefully this time we would last if not it's really gone case le.
in the evening he came to my house to find me :] it had been half years that he last
came to my house, should be last year's christmas day.
watched brune lee movie with baby in my room, the show was like hmph fighting all the time.
was kinda bored i suppose :X baby left at 11pm, and i immediately slept after that.
i was like so super tired, and no more contact ever he left :] Lol.
alright, but nevermind. He should have his own things to do too bah.
he cherish his friends a lot a lot, that's why. Haiya, i understand everything anyway.
alright got to go already, hope it would have another next month.

what was the point having unending life if that life was without love?
love makes the time pass, time make the love pass.

2010-06-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

If there's no suffering, there wouldn't be human in this world.

each day passes, my life is getting even more and more boring.
work to me was a terrible one, im veh sick of it. The people there oh my god.
is getting even more unfriendly already, was like hardly open my mouth when im working.
i'm going to stop working at this company by end of this month but i dontknow how to tell
them that im leaving, i dont have the courage to tell them. Sigh, lifes seriously sucks.
getting fatter already. Damn Lahs, wonder how to stop my mouth from eating :X
i miss my beloved, all are busy le. No more time for me at all, haish. Loneliness super shag.
short post for today, im seriously not in the mood at all. Goodnight readers.

when im in danger,
will You appear infront of me?
i just wonder.

2010-06-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

If there's a way, there's a path, there will be a will.

was rottening at home, was suppose to go out with baby but i think he's still sleeping.
thought im able to meet him today. Dontknow when gonna get the chance to meet again.
was waiting for the phone call since 1pm till now 4.40pm already, not a single call.
think he must be veh tired, let him sleep bah. I cannot be so unreasonable also i suppose.
sigh sigh, im seriously rottening a lots. Rot until keep on wanting to eat eat eat.
im getting fatter i know, but only food accompany me ): where's my baby and friends?
they are missing missing missing, shag. Haish .___.

Gemini Horoscope ;
In a positive state of mind today, filled with optimism and a hopeful lookout.
your inspirational attitude is likely to draw admiration from others and increase
your chances for social contacts, business advancement, or a new romance.
take advantages of all opportunities and channel them into constructive possibilities.

Relationships are especially affectionate and friendly at this time,
and You may benefit socially or materially through an opportunity offered to You
by a friend, this is a good time for parties, social gatherings, and other
pleasant activities. You way just meet someone that makes all this socializing
more than just a good time.

if You have the heart,
this wouldnt be the outcome.

2010-06-05T23:59:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to overcome it and face it bravely ;

today went Jurong Point >> Redhill >> Bugis >> Orchard >> Holland >> Taman Jurong.
thanks parents for buying me a shorts and a clothes that i long wanted :]
it had been a veh long time that i hang out with my family for shopping already.
i realised that my parents was like extremely cute eh, love disturbing them.
made them laughed, and mummy was like laughing until no more energy to walk ):
went to Orchard just to get my hula hoops. Parens really dotes me Lahs, muacks them!
treated them for dinner, as long as they enjoyed it. Hehee, Sheng Shiong for awhile
and home after that. Playing with my hula hoops awhile and playing with my computer.
later im gonna play with it awhile before going to bed, gonna work tomorrow morning. Yawn!

oh yeah, i hate man with no gentlemans. Saw a men today, his waiting for dontknow his
girlfriend or his wife to buy dinner for him and he simply just sit and wait for the food to
reach infront of him -.- i kept looking at him, what kind of gentleman is that. Damn him.
seriously he throw man's face Lahs. Even daddy was like asking also.
maybe he fat until cannot move Lahs, but expect a woman to buy for him -.-
even chili also need wife or girlfriend help him take, nabei if i have a boyfriend like him.
i would have left long ago, no gentleman but a gigglo to me. What the hell.
nevermind just dont waste my time angry for this little stuff, make myself more angry only.

the photo on top is an ipad :] it looked so style and cool right.
im gonna save money and buy that, Yesterday saw someone using it in mrt.
like veh cool sia, watching show using that kinda big screen.
kept looking at him, oh my god i must be veh Jealous Lahs.
i rather buy this ipad than itouch, i think it cost around $600 plus i suppose.
wow, was waiting to earn more money and to buy this. Hopefully im able to.
oh yeah manager today gave me a pen as a reward -.- it's like kinda zz.
im not a person who collect pen Lahs, and the pen was like er not buy one.
is like she dontwant to use de, zz. Im not a rubbish collector after all. Lol!
alright, i got to go already. Waiting for hair to be dry and off to bed.
goodnight readers ~ Please tag before leaving my blog, or i will shoo you off! :x

if it's time just leave.
dont bother to say goodbye.
it's meaningless afterall.

2010-06-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

No matter how much i sacrificed, to You it's never enough ;

yesterday we celebrated advance birthday of Jubellina, Leelim and mine.
meet Boyfriend and walked to Poineer Mrt to meet Jubellina and Leelim.
while waiting for Cynthia and Jastine we suggest to go atm first.
who knows they have already reached :X trained all the way down to Pasir Ris.
and i swear Cynthia was really veh noisy, she cannot sit still and listen to her songs.
keep on texting everyone of us and disturbed us. Hahaa, but she's cute Lahs.
reached Pasir Ris all of us cab down to Wild wild wet by 2 groups.
get changed everything and jump into the water, although wild wild wet is big
but the things inside was like veh little only. Played a scariest games. Omg @-@
boyfriend shouted like nobody's business and my eardrum nearly burst eh .__.
but overall it's veh fun playing with them Lahs, was tend to suntan but the weather isnt
really veh hot enough. All of us went to the wave pool. I somehow regret going because
im only the one who dontknow how to swim ): i wore safety vest and Cynthia was worried
for me, she piggybank me throughout the journey till the wave stopped.
thanks veh much my sweet Laogong :] went to shower and everyone was complaining that
they are veh hungry. Hahaa, and guess what the sun suddenly become so hot -.-
want suntan also cannot we have already shower ourself le, tsk. But nevermind.
settle ourself inside a kopitiam and almost all of us had Western food for dinner
only Cynthia ate Nasi Lemak uh. After finishing, Cynthia and Jastine take the small cakes out
wow i was like hmph :] looked veh nice, and they forced us to finish it ): im veh veh full !
anyway thanks them veh much. Trained back to Jurong, on the way i fall asleep.
and something shame happened to me Lahs. Slept halfway my head bang onto the
mrt window and i swear it's veh loud until everyone looking at me plus laughing zz -.-
included all of my sisters, all making fun of me. Thanks veh much Lo, walao shame die me.

reached Poineer Mrt we feel like riding bicycle to Jurong Bird Park hill again.
all home to prepare only me, went to boyfriend's house. Put bags and everything.
this trip Cynthia joined us and it's her first time riding bicycle up to Bird Park's hill.
im sure she enjoyed a lot although its like veh tiring, and ytd all of us sweat until -.-
like we are bathing all the way. Buay tahan uh, but we managed to chat a lot while we reached
the high high hills :] around 10.35 we ride down, the wind was like so damn marvellous!
i swear that i love the wind a lot a lot, it rocks my day somehow.
home at around 11.30pm, shower and slept at almost 1am.
this advance birthday i love it veh much uh, my birthday think celebrating with family.
all of my friends are working too. Last year's celebrations is the best one, i missed it.

having friend to me is veh important without them i might be still staying in my darkness corner
they rocks my day, craps, talking cock and making fun of each other :]
nonsense for the whole day. And that is why i think that friends is important.
laugh laugh laugh and the time will definitely pass veh veh fast.
sometime happy time i wish that time would extended to like
36 hours per day instead of 24 hour, but that is impossible Lahs.
just hope that everyone will cherish the time as well as the person they are hanging with.
they might leave suddenly, no ones will know when they are going to leave this world for, eg.
from the day i lost something, my dictionary added 2 words. Cherish and to Treasure.

i dont think it's still worth me waiting,
from what you said and what your action did.
it's no longer important ;

2010-06-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

It's only the memories that left behind ;

the photo on top it started to disappeared from the left, so yeah.
this is a veh incomplete photo, i ever though it would be back to it's original.
i was totally wrong, i was the last survivor but soon it will left only the background.
no more calls, no more text. i thought im proud that photo at least left both of us.
i don't think im lucky either, no matter how much i love You, how much i care.
You don't bother to care at all, it doesn't affect You at all too.
the picture was taken last year and it's the day before my birthday it means advance birthday.
but this year, during my birthday my friends beside me are less than 5 fingers.
yeah everyone is missing in action, but nevermind yeah.
hope everyone surrounded me find their own happiness well, goodluck to all.
was crying now i suppose, veh hard to keep the tears coming down. Nevermind, skipped.

my manager today praise me infront of my another colleague, asked her to learn from me -.-
laughs Lahs, make that girl like veh paiseh. I don't need her to praise me.
because she praise only awhile behind i do wrong things, can see that she veh fucked up.
this job is really making me going mad. Whatever they cannot cope and throw to Christine
and that's me! Lol. I looked like a rubbish bin to collect all unwanted rubbish hor?
anyway im not getting close to the Yu Xia which i always mention earlier on.
the strange feeling was like when she just came back from Beijing.
dontknow weather is she the one who changed or im the one who changed it doesn't matter too.
work, studies everything i cannot cope. Im like no differents from any idioits -.-
she is going to be veh lonely soon, veh veh soon. Perhaps it started from Saturday ):

my thickskin Cynthia laogong wanted me to write about her eh.
so what should i write about her leh? Oh yeah, i miss her i love her i want her :X
she should be veh shy when she saw it uh, taoyen! Hahaa.
gonna see her soon, this coming friday our Pasir Ris trip to dontknow either Wild Wild Wet or
Escape ThemePark :] Gonna see her die in my hand soon. HAHAAA ( evil laugh )
can see that my dearest laogong is enjoying her life veh veh well uh, so jealous of her.
wanna exchange my fate and life with You le lah Laogong, veh shag de leh.
alright, laogong enough Liao mahs? I nothing to say to You le lahs. Troublesome! Love You.

gonna cherish and treasure
before it really disappear once again.